INSPIRE- Book Release- Order it on AMAZON

I was so excited to be part of this beautiful journey in authoring a book with 20 other women this past year. This inspirational book is full of joy, heartbreak, victories, and overcoming life's obstacles. It is a sure way to motivate anyone that has felt down and needed to know that HOPE exists. Check it out on AMAZON today- http://www.amazon.com/Inspire-Stories-Accomplishment-Encouragement-Influence/dp/0692234241/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1404269268&sr=1-1

Become all you were meant to be!

Do you feel like you constantly are up against a wall? Discouragement and sadness can come in like a flood and overwhelm. There are so many things that can come against us from day to day that can feel like everything is gone, you will never be happy, your life will never turn around. But it can! Reclaim your life...reclaim what negative things have tried to take from you. God wants you to soar and be all you were created to be.
In this FREE ebook which downloads automatically you can experience renewed perspective and hope.
Download today!!

The Myth of Multi-tasking

Though, the hallmark of the twenty-first century has been multitasking. In reality, it isn't a good policy. When you do several things at once, you don't focus on any one task. Mistakes are made and everything becomes combined and messy. Also, when we multitask, we often aren’t giving another human being our full attention. We half-listen and then carry on with our tasks. This does nothing to foster team building at work or personal relationships at home. It's best to do just one thing at a time and focus on one person at a time.

When you do, you can accomplish more, feel more in control, and be a lot more pleasant to be around. You also can greatly reduce your stress levels. 

The "smart" device age has caused an increasing level of distraction as well. Set clear boundaries so you can have balance, you need to know when to shut it off and put it away. 

No one wants to be labeled a jack of all trades and a master of none! Let us all seek to pursue the best possible life we can give ourselves and families!

Eruption of Entitlement

I have noticed this for several years and I cant even begin to imagine how this is affecting our country, our lives, and relationships. It is becoming most common in my generation (we will say the 30 somethings) and younger. It is this ," I am entitled" mentality. I see it everywhere. Honestly, I even see it driving down the road. You watch sometimes when people get cut off the obnoxious words that fly out of the mouths of even a babe when their "right" to the road has been intruded upon. I see 16 year old's "expecting" they are getting a car. Really?? You are 16!! Sweethearts, that is a hard earned piece of metal you are throwing a tantrum about and the fact that it is not being "given" to you because you are.... oh, "of that age to have a car!" It has reared its ugly head in just about everything. Where did this spoiled rotten mentality actually overcome this generation, not to mention the apathy that is coupled with it? Not only are we seeing an eruption of " I am owed or entitled," but we are seeing an apathetic way of life springing up all around us. I have heard the phrase, "I just dont care," more often then I wish I had heard. Do people actually mean they do not care? Maybe! Quite possibly they do not. However, it is causing major problems. No one is entitled or owed a single thing. In fact, what we deserve we actually should be thankful we do not get. There are things in life you need to work really hard at....and with that being able to truly care that you have obtained it so when you get that hard earned promotion, car, dream home, or even a loving spouse....you reallyyyy cherish it.
Think about what you can "give" back once in awhile instead of what you think you are actually "entitled" to receiving!

Dealing with manipulative people

Manipulative people can surface in many relationships. It is important not to confuse manipulation with "influence" . Someone that is influential creates balance and health and spurs you on to be a better person and reach your goals. Manipulation however is a tactic used to control others through lies, remarks, stories, actions,financial means, etc. It can rear its ugly head in many ways. What do you do and how do you handle this, especially if you have someone close to you has been manipulating people all their life. For some it is a way of life. It is not the correct way of life though. People like this are fearful, and in most cases can be very dramatic with their every day life. Most of the time their ultimate desire is self based and they will not have close personal relationships with others. Ultimately their manipulation backfires. But nonetheless, they can be difficult to deal with and you need to be able to recognize manipulation and stand up to it.
In some cases the manipulative person can and will target who they "can" and can't manipulate. Keep in mind....from an earlier post,.....There is no show without an audience! Same for manipulators....they can not manipulate others, if they are not allowed. If someone feels they can manipulate you, they will keep calling, keep coming back, and continuously showing up in your life for something unhealthy.
Keep a balance in your relationships. Keep manipulators at a distance. It takes two to tango...and it always involves two when their are unhealthy patterns. Have nothing to do with it! So, I know the question is there, what do you do when this person is someone in your family? A spouse, parent, or child. Obviously those relationships you can not walk completely away from. BUT, you need to be very specific, clarify what you will and will not allow and enforce that you have boundaries. This will not be easy, you will have differing opinions, but you need to keep unhealthy people in your life at a distance and make them understand how far they can go.
Maintain your character. Manipulative people lie. Keep this tactic in mind. Remember, manipulative people are driven by fear and insecurity and will do whatever it takes to make themselves feel better. Be true to who you are,  who have you always been, manipulators have a pattern and I guarantee you are not the only one in their lives who sees it.
Set limits with people who try to manipulate you and clarify what it is that the relationship will be. Some people you just can not be close to in all of the ways you want to be because of unhealthy patterns or destructive habits.

 photo:http://www.activatemg.co.nz/middle-management-development/

Work on YOU!

Many people don't want to work on themselves. The process is too deep, too hard, too painful, too time consuming, too much work, etc...I have heard it all. The truth behind this is very simple though. If you do not work on yourself, no one else will. Change only happens when you put your mind to it and get to a point where the pains of being the same hurt worse then the pains change will bring. If that never comes then most people will continue to live the stagnant, existing life they have always lived. Life is supposed to be thriving, there should be growth, signs of change, positive fruit shown in your life. By fruit I mean qualities that are whole, right, and true. Qualities that are loving, patient, honest, kind, faithful, joyful ,peaceful, and lovely. These kinds of character traits are not given to everyone at birth, some people by nature or ability are more loving and gentle...but all these qualities should be worked on as you progress through life. Qualities are just a tip on the iceberg there are issues of well being that encompasses lifestyle, environment, choices, and spiritual decisions.

It is much easier for some people to just give up on their dreams, their aspirations, their marriages, their families, their well being all for the selfish reason that it is just too much work. Marriage is too hard so they get a divorce. Staying healthy is too difficult and they will never be in good shape so they sulk over a fudge brownie. Working a fulfilling job is out of reach so they work a job they hate till they retire and then live with regret that they never did what they wanted to do or were made to do. Knowing that God wants to have a relationship with them is just too uncomfortable so they spend a lifetime searching for fulfillment in a world full of empty promises and the void is never filled like it should be.

It is about a choice, everyone has them, every single person has the same 24 hours a day, every single day! What choice will you make? What direction will you allow your mind to take you today?

How to keep your mind healthy.

Are you a success?

Many people define success in different ways. Some define how successful they have been by how much money they make, how many friends they have, what sort of people they know, or by how many people that love them. How you determine what makes you a success is what defines who you are as an individual. These qualities are what will make you special and in what areas you will excel in your life.

You have to start by thinking about the very question, "What does it mean to be successful?"

What is it that you want to get out of your life, while you have a life to get anything out of?

These are tough questions in deciding what is behind the forces driving you to go forward in your life. For some people, they do not ever really know what they really want in life. Many go through life sort of floating thinking that life has handed them whatever they are "supposed" to do. And for some, they settle into believing that they could never possibly attain the dream they have deep in their heart. And then there are those who are driven by things that they really do not understand, and at the end of their life they sit there and think about the choices they make and they have regret.

Here are a few quick steps in helping you think about your life and how you view success.

1. Where do you want to be in 5 years? What are the things you want to be doing in 5 years?

2.How will you get there? What are choices I need to be making today to keep me on the right track?

3.What are areas in my life that I want to achieve success with? (health, relationships, finances, etc.)

4. Do you need to establish more balance in those area's? Are there area's where you are functioning in an out of control state that keeps you from moving ahead?

By asking yourself these questions and being honest with yourself about the outcome you can start to give yourself some goals to work towards in changing your future success as an individual and accomplishing your dreams, goals, and needs.

To talk to a life coach today and receive a free consultation email :

mylittlelifecoach@gmail.com

Strengths and Weaknesses: do you know yours?

If you have no idea your strengths or weaknesses I would recommend you take a long hard look into yourself for some time. Everyone at some point through direction from friends, family, or coworkers seems to have somewhat of an indicator of what talents they have been given. If you have not been as fortunate as to have guidance along the way and you have no idea where your strengths lie or your weaknesses one thing you can try is to take an exam. They have exams online that will tell you where your strengths lie and maybe where some of your weaker areas can be as well. These will help you discover more of yourself and possibly steer you in a better direction vocationally. There are some websites I have included below for you to look into further.

I would encourage you to join a team. Get involved with a project or organization that will throw you into having to work together with others. The best way to discover who you are is to take yourself out of the familiar! When someone gets very comfortable with their life its very easy to never discover new things about yourself and others. There are many needs out there and organizations that can use your help.

Getting married is one of the most unbelievable things that you can do to discover who and what you are made of. If you for one second think your life is perfect and you have little weaknesses, getting married will help keep your brain from reaching that prideful pinnacle. Spending time with another individual every day, every night, and for years to come will reveal things about yourself you never knew! Once your married, make a commitment to that person for life. In a marriage when both people are committed to discovering themselves and each other it makes a world of difference. Stay close to one another and maintain your relationship, attend marriage conferences to discover more about men, women, and one another.

The following sites can offer some helpful information in attending a marriage conference or knowing more about your personality.

Personality Quiz

Attend a Marriage Retreat

Solutions for Life

Strengthening your marriage...is it possible? YES!

Marriage is not always made in heaven. Relationships are work and people are never perfect. When you make a covenant commitment before God to make it work you have to be willing to do whatever it takes to make sure it is more than just a piece of paper. There are steps that many may need to take to ensure they can stick through the tough times especially when you feel like giving up.

It is wise to seek counseling. Marriages sometimes need a qualified counselor to help them through some deeper issues. Counselors are trained professionals who can figure out where the root problems are stemming from and that may not even be things your aware of in your relationship. Many times in relationships people bring to the table what they have seen and have no idea how to have a happy marriage and love the other the way God wants them to love. There is no shame in seeking a counselor, it is actually a wise choice before things get too out of control.

Do what it takes to ensure your marriage stays strong. Relationships need cultivating and every living thing needs water to grow. Marriages need certain aspects to make sure they are growing and not becoming stagnant. Give time to your marriage and look into a weekend retreat or seminar that is devoted to couples and issues they face in keeping their covenants to one another.

Make sure your spending quality time getting to know what the other person needs from you. This aspect will never change even if your married 50 years, there will always be changes that take place and each spouse needs to understand that their loved one will change and how can they change together and grow together. Many people say to one another how much they have changed, lets face the truth when it comes down to it...Every single person changes and goes through things as life molds and shapes them. Whether the changes are for the better or not, people need to understand that it will happen at some point, its a part of life.

Pray together as a couple. Ask God to give you strength and wisdom and that he protects your marriage. Marriages are meant to be strong and victorious forces for families across the world, this relationship must be taken more seriously not only for families but for the children and our future. If you have never seen a successful marriage or believe that it is possible...you must know that you can be the change and the one that makes the difference.

Unhealthy people and how to avoid those relationships

Health encompasses people in many forms. Most people like to think of health as a term that deems them physically fit, however, health is also a state of mind and lifestyle. There are times when staying away from people who are unhealthy for you may be the wisest choice you can make for your overall vitality.

In order to avoid unhealthy people you must first figure out how to discern what is unhealthy. People all go through times in life when they do not make wise choices, but choosing to make better decisions in your relationships is not only a sign of growth but wisdom. To term an individual unhealthy can range in a variety of ways from the misuse of drugs or alcohol, abusive in nature verbally/physically/or mentally, unstable mentally, stealing, lying, or raging anger, etc... Unhealthy people can take on many forms and it can surface at any time.

Know your weaknesses when it comes to relationships. If you know that you have a soft and tender heart for broken individuals than keep in mind, you will attract those types of people and personalities into your life. Nothing is wrong with being there for hurting people, however, you have to know your weaknesses and be strong as to not allow the vulnerability to strike a cord in your heart that will give you an unnecessary tie to that person. It will become unhealthy to you if you cross the boundary.

You may need to put some distance between you and the unhealthy individuals sometimes. There is nothing wrong with moving to a new area and starting over if you have to get away from unhealthy people or a situation. You have to stay committed to changing your future. You have made up your mind that you do not want to have relationships with unhealthy people who have hurt you and you have to stick to your guns no matter what it takes. These days will be some of the hardest days you will have to live but do it for your own well being. You may need to make some hard choices for example: blocking a phone call or changing your contact information. All of these things you choose to do are difficult and may feel foreign but you have to make a choice in how you live your life and what you want surrounding you!

Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing at all.

How many times do we so quickly want to give advice, comment, or give an opinion? For so many, it is most likely more common to have something to say than to just sit back and listen. The more you face and experience and learn to wait in patient silence you learn lessons that only hardships can teach you over the course of your lifetime.

It is very easy to give a superficial response or a comment that is all too quickly shrugged off. There are many times when answers will not be there...and may never be this side of heaven. Questions go through our minds all the time in difficult circumstances. What do you say when your loved one comes home so beaten down and discouraged because of a job loss? What is to be said when you have a loved one who loses a child? How do you possibly come up with words to comfort a friend when they tell you they have been given a terminal diagnosis?

There are many times words will be just that... "words." Nothing can be said in certain times of deep despair that can bring comfort or solace. It is during these times that men and women need to draw strength from the deepest parts of who you are and what has been given to you by God to withstand such trying times.

Keeping the Peace

Homes are the place where those we love should find peace and solace. Every one needs a haven to rest their mind, body, and spirit from the cares of the world. The first step in keeping peace in the home is to live your life with decentsy and order. I know this sounds a bit basic, however, if you live a chaotic lifestyle you will reap a chaos filled home. Finances, relationships, and moods will be all over the charts. Learn to reign in your life around peace and make wise decisions, not only for yourself but for those you love.

Next lesson to be heard in keeping the peace throughout homes is to keep your mouth shut sometimes. That sounds a bit harsh to put it out there so bluntly, but truly understand that not everyone around you wants to hear your "opinions". Your thoughts and input are important to those you love. Be careful not to abuse this right though, if your always going off about something or your opinion on a matter...it will get to the point when those around you will not care so much for what you have to say because your always saying ...."something." Are you starting to get the point? Now lets move on to the next phase in keeping the peace.

Keeping the peace in your home can start with the atmosphere. Create an atmosphere that is enjoyable. Atmosphere improvement can be as simple as lighting a few candles to painting the color of your walls a more inviting shade than the blah white that was there when you moved in. Play music that evokes an atmosphere that you want to have in your home.

And finally one last thing that can help you keep the peace is to have boundaries established in your homes. Boundaries create stability, discipline, and an order that almost produces a peace on it's own and then it is up to you to carry it through to every day living.

More on Boundaries.

Enforcing boundaries

Establishing healthy boundaries is one thing but enforcing them and keeping them is the next step and an entirely different thing. Once you have established the boundary you need in a relationship for it to be healthy you need to be consistent. Consistency is the key for people who deal with boundaryless individuals in their life. Over time, they will see your consistency and how much this means to you.

Be firm with what you desire in having healthy, respectable relationships. This is the step that requires steadfast will. Family members or close friends may give you resistance when you try to stay steadfast against their unhealthy patterns of trying to pull you in hundreds of directions emotionally, physically, or mentally, but stay true to what you desire and what you are trying to establish them. A health boundary is not easily established especially if its been years since living within healthy scenarios.

Try to be patient when dealing with those around you who do not understand that your trying to establish a better way of life. Stick to your beliefs and how you want to live your life now that you recognize healthy boundaries are essential. Be encouraged that you can establish healthy ways of living and take control of your life and personal relationships. If you have come from a family that had a deep lack or respect for one another and lacked boundaries in their relationships with one another, i advise you to read the book " Boundaries" by Cloud and Townsend.

Healthy boundaries for your life

Everyone at times experiences the pull into different directions. The stress, the anxiety, and even fear this causes is completely unhealthy. Unfortunately, we live in a society where very few people understand let alone practice establishing healthy boundaries in their lives. All to easily things overtake your relationships and you become enmeshed with people or situations that you should not be that involved in to begin with.

When one suffers from totally taking ownership of their life, ultimately, they are living a boundary less lifestyle. When there is confusion about responsibility and ownership the problem is lack of boundaries. Boundaries are healthy if established properly. A boundary in this context refers to where you end and another person begins. First of all establish the areas where you feel pulled, stressed, taken advantage of, abused, or even manipulated in and pinpoint who or what makes you feel this way. Once you see where it begins you then need to draw a line and do not cross it or allow others to cross it. The one thing that is very important is that you enforce what you are going to establish for your life.

Once you have pinpointed those areas figure out which ones you are contributing to by not establishing a healthy boundary. What do you need to let go of in your life? There are things you will have to give up sometimes to live a life with boundaries. Family and career are two of the biggest areas this affects. The two involve relationships that are spent with those in very close proximity, which usually leads to a crossing of boundaries eventually. People sometimes do not know how to draw a line in the sand between themselves and others situations. The tendency to do so creates a very unhealthy pattern in your life. This pattern creates stress, anxiety, and sometimes a lack of respect for yourself and those around you.

Respect yourself enough to know where you as a person end in a relationship, job, project, business deal, volunteer opportunity, ministry, etc... Those around you need to understand that they do not control your time, life, or priorities.
The only one who can show them this is you! Be clear in what you have to say, stick to what you actually say, and carry through with what you have decided on.
* Boundaries are setting a clear path to equip you to live a healthier life and be a stronger person.

Taking ownership in your life and being responsible

There are many people who refuse to grow up and take responsibility serious. It is sad but in some cases they never saw how to be disciplined or taught how to be responsible, however, as an adult you have a choice to change who you are and what you become for the people around you. The first thing that you have to do is realize that you are in fact irresponsible and have a hard time taking ownership in your life. This may not stem from anything you have even done as a child, you may have been brought up in a home where there were no boundaries established and you have no sense of discipline. You can change that though by taking a step towards maturity and responsible behavior. There comes a time in everyone's life where the "blame" game doesn't matter anymore, and you must stop in your tracks and take charge of your actions, behavior, and choices.

1. You must realize that in being responsible and living your life to reflect that means, you have to make different decisions. You have an obligation as a human being in your job, marriage, and relationships to be responsible to those around you. People depend on you and if you fail to show them that you are capable to being responsible, your letting them down. As an adult, you are supposed to be living your life as an example now to those younger than you, your coworkers, your family...it is something you must take seriously.

   Take steps to ensure you make better choices. If you need to seek counseling or have someone in your life that you are accountable to for a little time than do that for yourself and those you love. This is just an example, but if you struggle with finances; take a class on money management. Your life is full of many years and many people who will love you and need you to be a better individual. You must begin to put other people above yourself and your decisions. Every decision you make will affect someone else, make sure you make good decisions so you will make a positive impact with your life.

   And lastly, realize how strong of a person you are and how much God has given you to accomplish in your life. You are the one in charge of what you make of your life. Your the only one who can choose to live healthier, make changes, and be responsible for yourself. Do not let the stress of circumstances keep you from making wise choices, you always have a choice...always!

   How to know if you need counseling

Keep your mind healthy

Just as important as physical health your mind plays a huge role in your emotional and mental health. All three factors really are connected with one another. If your mind is unhealthy your physical and emotional state can be suffering.

Keep your mind stimulated. If you are in a place where you do dont feel like your using your brain to think, reason, or work towards anything that is a very dangerous place to be. Look for ways to use your mind. It could be something as simple as crossword puzzles, reading a book, or reasearching a new subject. This is one thing that is very hard for elderly people with few activities, but the key is to have something that can be worked on daily that can stimulate your thought process and keep you alert.

Focus on positive things in the world around you. There are many things that can seem gloom and doom and cause our brains to almost have an overload. There really is only so much someone can handle at once. Make a list of things that you are looking forward to, that your thankful for, and that you can appreciate in your life.

Do not expose your thoughts and mind to things that are unhealthy. There things that can be addictive which pose a threat to your potential in how you function on a daily basis. These things can creep in when you are vulnerbale and least expect them to be able to take over your life and mind. Examples can be anything from pornography, violence, drugs, or even unhealthy patterns in your life that keep you from living abundantly.

Get involved with those around you in your community or family. If at all possible try to have things that require your attention and involvement. To have activities in which you can communicate and participlate in on a weekly basis are healthy and a wonderful way to use your mind and keep you healthy.