Not enough time in a day? Could that be true?

Could that phrase, "not enough time in a day," really be true? We utter it more times then we should, especially when jobs are pulling us, kids are crying out, bills are sitting on the table waiting to be paid, and the list goes on...
Every one has 24 hours in a day and 365 of those days in a year. So why do some succeed and others spend their entire lives never meeting their goals or accomplishing what they need to on a daily basis?

Believe it or not, it is all in your mind. Your mind is an incredible organ, that unless you master: will control the way you think, act, and ultimately live your life and carry out your relationships. The sense of carrying an apathetic outlook on life, that grows in time stunts your growth as an individual. Keep in mind...apathetic...always ends with pathetic. There is no reason that in 24 hours a day, that in some of those hours you can not be effective. Getting control of your thought process is key when trying to master your schedule and your time. Photo Credit: scrapetv.com,joepalmer.wordpress.com

Honestly...where is all the honesty??

Being an honest individual is much more than just speaking truth with your mouth. Individuals must have an honest lifestyle. Many people feel that once in awhile it is OK to tell "small white lies" to protect, to cover up, and to in essence keep things simpler, however, there is no such thing as white lies, it is a myth. A lie is a lie, no matter how you look at it. Keeping the truth from other people, or twisting the truth is a lie.

All of these tactics are used to help people get out of trouble with their clients, boss, spouse, or families. What really truly happens though is that deep in the heart of the people they live with, work with, or work for....people find out your a fraud. Those who live their lives in fraudulent states can not be trusted. If they are lying to others, sooner or later they are lying to you....and themselves.

I will give you classic examples of dishonest behavior....see if you can relate?

** You are late for an appointment because you slept in and took your good old time leaving the house, you make a quick and formal phone call, saying, "I'm on my way to meet you, i got held up." Now as your making this call....your actually still sipping your coffee...

YOU DID NOT GET HELD UP....you were being lazy, why don't you just be honest? Well...because if you were honest with them and yourself...that you are in fact a lazy person with no sense of time management, that it would scare you to death and you could lose your job, financial security, or relationships.

**Second example, " You try and hide something important from your family and friends." You make up stories or avoid the truth by deterring conversation and bring up distractions. You fear the truth could bring devastation, disappointment, hurt, so you keep it from them in your efforts to be a hero and protect them, but really all your doing is making the situation worse by keeping the truth from those you love. Truth always surfaces eventually.

**And one last example, "When you share something about another one's private life and details they did not want you to share and you say, "I promise, I will not tell anyone you have told me this in confidence...and then you run to your mother, brother, friend...and blab your mouth but say at the end...please pray for them and don't mention I told you." YOU HAVE LIED. You have not been an individual with whom trust could be given. Why do we do this? Why do good people make poor choices?

I can tell you some of the reasons...is because they lack discipline, respect for themselves and others, and lack of boundaries. I am sure you could list a few yourself if you actually sit and thought for awhile...

People have not really lived much by the phrase, "the truth will set you free," much these days. So what has happened is we have become surrounded by a society of people who feel it is OK to mask the truth. What happens is that people then become in bondage to their own behavior and their lives become anything but transparent.

Encouraging you today....to be a more honest person this year. Make better choices with your mouth and behavior. Watch how the world around you...changes...for the better. Truth is not always easy, fun, or the most rewarding but it is better to be honest then to be caught up in a lie.

People are always watching....even if you think they are not!

Strengths and Weaknesses: do you know yours?

If you have no idea your strengths or weaknesses I would recommend you take a long hard look into yourself for some time. Everyone at some point through direction from friends, family, or coworkers seems to have somewhat of an indicator of what talents they have been given. If you have not been as fortunate as to have guidance along the way and you have no idea where your strengths lie or your weaknesses one thing you can try is to take an exam. They have exams online that will tell you where your strengths lie and maybe where some of your weaker areas can be as well. These will help you discover more of yourself and possibly steer you in a better direction vocationally. There are some websites I have included below for you to look into further.

I would encourage you to join a team. Get involved with a project or organization that will throw you into having to work together with others. The best way to discover who you are is to take yourself out of the familiar! When someone gets very comfortable with their life its very easy to never discover new things about yourself and others. There are many needs out there and organizations that can use your help.

Getting married is one of the most unbelievable things that you can do to discover who and what you are made of. If you for one second think your life is perfect and you have little weaknesses, getting married will help keep your brain from reaching that prideful pinnacle. Spending time with another individual every day, every night, and for years to come will reveal things about yourself you never knew! Once your married, make a commitment to that person for life. In a marriage when both people are committed to discovering themselves and each other it makes a world of difference. Stay close to one another and maintain your relationship, attend marriage conferences to discover more about men, women, and one another.

The following sites can offer some helpful information in attending a marriage conference or knowing more about your personality.

Personality Quiz

Attend a Marriage Retreat

Solutions for Life

Create relaxation

Relaxation may be a foreign word for some people, and most of the time unless you create a time for yourself to relax it will not happen. Relaxing is a time to separate yourself from the cares of every day life. The following tips may help you come up with some of your very own.

Set the time aside for you to relax. This time could be something you plan ahead for or even make happen spontaneously based upon your needs. When you create relaxation make sure you remove things that typically distract you. Things that usually cause underlying stress such as TV, cell phones, computers, pagers, etc ... should be turned off during this time. There are moments when you can be unreachable for just a little while, your mind and body needs this so you do not burn out.

Create an atmosphere wherever you are that is peaceful. You may like to light candles, turn on some light music, or maybe you want to sit in absolute silence with your feet up; whatever you choose make it something you do not ordinarily do to make it seem special for you. Take your mind off your situation for awhile and focus on a book, a sunset, or even the rain. It does not take much to create relaxation if your determined to do it.

A wonderful idea that can help you relax is to burn lavender essential oil in an oil diffuser. If you do not own an oil burner you can apply a few drops of lavender to the palms of your hands and inhale, or place a few drops on your pillowcase.

Unhealthy people and how to avoid those relationships

Health encompasses people in many forms. Most people like to think of health as a term that deems them physically fit, however, health is also a state of mind and lifestyle. There are times when staying away from people who are unhealthy for you may be the wisest choice you can make for your overall vitality.

In order to avoid unhealthy people you must first figure out how to discern what is unhealthy. People all go through times in life when they do not make wise choices, but choosing to make better decisions in your relationships is not only a sign of growth but wisdom. To term an individual unhealthy can range in a variety of ways from the misuse of drugs or alcohol, abusive in nature verbally/physically/or mentally, unstable mentally, stealing, lying, or raging anger, etc... Unhealthy people can take on many forms and it can surface at any time.

Know your weaknesses when it comes to relationships. If you know that you have a soft and tender heart for broken individuals than keep in mind, you will attract those types of people and personalities into your life. Nothing is wrong with being there for hurting people, however, you have to know your weaknesses and be strong as to not allow the vulnerability to strike a cord in your heart that will give you an unnecessary tie to that person. It will become unhealthy to you if you cross the boundary.

You may need to put some distance between you and the unhealthy individuals sometimes. There is nothing wrong with moving to a new area and starting over if you have to get away from unhealthy people or a situation. You have to stay committed to changing your future. You have made up your mind that you do not want to have relationships with unhealthy people who have hurt you and you have to stick to your guns no matter what it takes. These days will be some of the hardest days you will have to live but do it for your own well being. You may need to make some hard choices for example: blocking a phone call or changing your contact information. All of these things you choose to do are difficult and may feel foreign but you have to make a choice in how you live your life and what you want surrounding you!

When life seems out of control

Just when you think life seems out of control, sometimes things actually get worse. You must keep in mind that even though things around you seem out of control and hopeless that the reality of the situation is that you as a person are not!! Circumstances happen beyond what can be controlled by you in your life. Life happens and it's not always fair, peaceful, or easy. Not one person ever said that it would be, but somehow our own human nature kicks in and we feel we are "owed" a fair life. Every one at some point wants the fairytale happy ending to be incorporated into their own life. The truth of the matter is this....not one thing in this world is secure except for the love of God.

There are things in your life that happen that are out of your hand's. During this time though you have to remember that even though your life seems chaotic and confusing there are certain things you do have the power to change.

You may need to draw strength during these times from the deepest parts of who you are. God will give you a resilience you never knew you possessed if you just ask him for the grace and strength to get you through difficult times.

You have the capacity to change your mindset!

Your mindset can be your worst enemy or your best advocate but you have to be the one to choose. This is not something that you may have to choose just one time either...every single day you have to get up with determination in your heart! There are better things in store for you.

You have the capacity to change your attitude!

Realize that this is not happening to destroy you as an individual. There may have been circumstances that have played out in your life that may have been intended to hurt or destroy you. However, you will have the victory over these things and those people.

You have the capacity to keep your health in check!

Life can get depressing and things get left go along with unpaid bills...do not let this be your health. Take a few minutes every day to go for a walk, run, and make yourself something healthy to eat. It is all to easy to turn to comfort food to help you somehow "cope" with the loss. Turn to what can actually help you long term in your overall vitality: which is... better eating, more exercise, embrace the people in your life to help you and do this together.

You have the capacity to still be there for your family!

In spite of your situation do not check out on your wife, husband, or children. There are incredibly trying times that can destroy your personal relationships. Stress, tension, and utter frustrations can make you an entirely different human being to those living with you. Take control of your actions and words and respect each others boundaries and feelings. You can say whatever you want to if you want to live a boundary less life and cause irreversible damage to those you live with. If you want to maintain a peaceful and nurturing home than it is time to figure out how to control your mouth, opinions, and brashness.

You have the capacity to CHANGE the CIRCUMSTANCE!

You have found yourself in the middle of a crisis, whether it be financial, relational, or physical. All of these things you may never have expected or thought could happen to you! The wonderful news is this...you still have breath in your lungs! You also have a mind that God gave you to use and do something with besides hold your ears separate from one another! Use your mind to think about what your to do and pray very hard that you have wisdom.

"Finally...whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever things are of a good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy-meditate on these things" Philippians 4:8

Pulling yourself out of a finacial pit

Finding yourself in the middle of a financial crisis can feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. Getting yourself up out of that financial pit is possible and you have to be dedicated to doing it. The first step to getting out of your financial pit is to sit down and make a list of all your bills. Figure out how much you owe on a monthly basis. Budget all of the money out and how much you will need per month. Once you have figured out how much you need per month, look at the due dates of your bills and see how much you need each week. If you see that you have 5 or 6 bills due the first week of the month and only 1 or 2 due the following week call your utilities or customer service and have the due dates of every month changed. By changing the due dates you spread out how much money you owe over the course of the entire month.

Think about how much money you are making. A great way to determine if your setting yourself up for frustration is to look at your weekly paycheck. The biggest bill most people have is their mortgage or rent each month. If your weekly paycheck equals or is higher than how much money you owe each month in rent or mortgage payments then you should be able to budget easier. This system allows you to have one weeks salary to go towards your biggest debt and the other three weeks to save and pay other expenses.

The third step you can take is to eliminate extra spending. This takes discipline on every one's part living in the house. This means not giving into midnight cravings, stop having lunch out while working, doing your own nails, giving up that four dollar coffee, or living without some cable for a month or two. OH IT IS POSSIBLE to live without these things, even though some may protest. If you are serious though about helping yourself and your family get out of this financial crisis you need to stop being selfish and get with the program. Financial crisis is hurting many people right now, but you can change what you spend your money on and take steps towards financial freedom. There are times when you have to keep a tight reign on your money and every penny will count. This will not be forever but in order to get control of your finances you have to get in control of your life and spending habits.

Lastly, keep up with your current bills. If you get behind do not get discouraged, but refusing to pay off smaller bills will only get worse over time. A twenty dollar bill on your credit card can grow to two hundred in a few months if you let it go. Do not let things go when you get to this point in your life. This is a time when you need to stay proactive and keep on top of things. Throwing your bills under the table will not make them disappear, that is irresponsible and not smart. If you have to consolidate to give yourself more reasonable payments than do so, there are many great companies that can help you have one reasonable payment for a few years. Consolidating will help you also with easier budgeting each month. It is possible to sleep at night....it is possible to not have a nervous breakdown.....it is possible to get through this and still have your marriage....it is possible to get through this!!!

True Financial Freedom

What is a disciplined life and how is it lived?

Discipline sometimes can be seen as negative, however, to be successful and productive in your life one must have discipline in certain areas. Discipline allows you to have structure and guides you in making even the simple daily decisions. Decisions that most people do not think twice about half the time; require discipline. Decisions like the one to get out of bed and skip work or get up and go because you have a responsibility to yourself, your employer, and even your family. A decision to go for a walk in your spare time versus sitting in front of the T.V. all require a certain aspect of discipline.

Establish the areas in your life that are the most important and how much time you want to give to accomplish your goals. Stick to a few things that you want to do exceptionally well...to be a jack of all trades and a master of none, will get you nowhere. There are some things that will eventually become habits if you do them all the time, this is where discipline steps in. If you want to exercise more you must be determined to set a time every day that is best for you to do that. Try not to set yourself up to fail, be flexible but be consistent. Have a routine daily that will help you stay focused.

Establish healthy boundaries for yourself and those around you. Boundaries help keep the things that are best for you close and the things that are not the best for you, at a distance. Keep a list of things you want to achieve and refer to it weekly to keep you on the right track and staying disciplined in the areas you need it most.

If you struggle with this and have a hard time finding structure and being disciplined then find someone you can truly trust to help you stay accountable. Remember if you are asking them for their help in keeping you on task, you are allowing them to speak into your life, what one has to say may not always be joyous ... but listen because you need to be held accountable if you lack discipline.If you do not want a close family member or friend asking you personal questions then do not ask them to be the one your accountable to...ask a counselor, pastor, or leader you respect. Sometimes people need others to ask them the tough questions that need to be answered by you and you alone. After all, you are the one in charge of your life and how you choose to live it!

Enforcing boundaries

Establishing healthy boundaries is one thing but enforcing them and keeping them is the next step and an entirely different thing. Once you have established the boundary you need in a relationship for it to be healthy you need to be consistent. Consistency is the key for people who deal with boundaryless individuals in their life. Over time, they will see your consistency and how much this means to you.

Be firm with what you desire in having healthy, respectable relationships. This is the step that requires steadfast will. Family members or close friends may give you resistance when you try to stay steadfast against their unhealthy patterns of trying to pull you in hundreds of directions emotionally, physically, or mentally, but stay true to what you desire and what you are trying to establish them. A health boundary is not easily established especially if its been years since living within healthy scenarios.

Try to be patient when dealing with those around you who do not understand that your trying to establish a better way of life. Stick to your beliefs and how you want to live your life now that you recognize healthy boundaries are essential. Be encouraged that you can establish healthy ways of living and take control of your life and personal relationships. If you have come from a family that had a deep lack or respect for one another and lacked boundaries in their relationships with one another, i advise you to read the book " Boundaries" by Cloud and Townsend.

Healthy boundaries for your life

Everyone at times experiences the pull into different directions. The stress, the anxiety, and even fear this causes is completely unhealthy. Unfortunately, we live in a society where very few people understand let alone practice establishing healthy boundaries in their lives. All to easily things overtake your relationships and you become enmeshed with people or situations that you should not be that involved in to begin with.

When one suffers from totally taking ownership of their life, ultimately, they are living a boundary less lifestyle. When there is confusion about responsibility and ownership the problem is lack of boundaries. Boundaries are healthy if established properly. A boundary in this context refers to where you end and another person begins. First of all establish the areas where you feel pulled, stressed, taken advantage of, abused, or even manipulated in and pinpoint who or what makes you feel this way. Once you see where it begins you then need to draw a line and do not cross it or allow others to cross it. The one thing that is very important is that you enforce what you are going to establish for your life.

Once you have pinpointed those areas figure out which ones you are contributing to by not establishing a healthy boundary. What do you need to let go of in your life? There are things you will have to give up sometimes to live a life with boundaries. Family and career are two of the biggest areas this affects. The two involve relationships that are spent with those in very close proximity, which usually leads to a crossing of boundaries eventually. People sometimes do not know how to draw a line in the sand between themselves and others situations. The tendency to do so creates a very unhealthy pattern in your life. This pattern creates stress, anxiety, and sometimes a lack of respect for yourself and those around you.

Respect yourself enough to know where you as a person end in a relationship, job, project, business deal, volunteer opportunity, ministry, etc... Those around you need to understand that they do not control your time, life, or priorities.
The only one who can show them this is you! Be clear in what you have to say, stick to what you actually say, and carry through with what you have decided on.
* Boundaries are setting a clear path to equip you to live a healthier life and be a stronger person.

Taking ownership in your life and being responsible

There are many people who refuse to grow up and take responsibility serious. It is sad but in some cases they never saw how to be disciplined or taught how to be responsible, however, as an adult you have a choice to change who you are and what you become for the people around you. The first thing that you have to do is realize that you are in fact irresponsible and have a hard time taking ownership in your life. This may not stem from anything you have even done as a child, you may have been brought up in a home where there were no boundaries established and you have no sense of discipline. You can change that though by taking a step towards maturity and responsible behavior. There comes a time in everyone's life where the "blame" game doesn't matter anymore, and you must stop in your tracks and take charge of your actions, behavior, and choices.

1. You must realize that in being responsible and living your life to reflect that means, you have to make different decisions. You have an obligation as a human being in your job, marriage, and relationships to be responsible to those around you. People depend on you and if you fail to show them that you are capable to being responsible, your letting them down. As an adult, you are supposed to be living your life as an example now to those younger than you, your coworkers, your family...it is something you must take seriously.

   Take steps to ensure you make better choices. If you need to seek counseling or have someone in your life that you are accountable to for a little time than do that for yourself and those you love. This is just an example, but if you struggle with finances; take a class on money management. Your life is full of many years and many people who will love you and need you to be a better individual. You must begin to put other people above yourself and your decisions. Every decision you make will affect someone else, make sure you make good decisions so you will make a positive impact with your life.

   And lastly, realize how strong of a person you are and how much God has given you to accomplish in your life. You are the one in charge of what you make of your life. Your the only one who can choose to live healthier, make changes, and be responsible for yourself. Do not let the stress of circumstances keep you from making wise choices, you always have a choice...always!

   How to know if you need counseling