Honestly...where is all the honesty??

Being an honest individual is much more than just speaking truth with your mouth. Individuals must have an honest lifestyle. Many people feel that once in awhile it is OK to tell "small white lies" to protect, to cover up, and to in essence keep things simpler, however, there is no such thing as white lies, it is a myth. A lie is a lie, no matter how you look at it. Keeping the truth from other people, or twisting the truth is a lie.

All of these tactics are used to help people get out of trouble with their clients, boss, spouse, or families. What really truly happens though is that deep in the heart of the people they live with, work with, or work for....people find out your a fraud. Those who live their lives in fraudulent states can not be trusted. If they are lying to others, sooner or later they are lying to you....and themselves.

I will give you classic examples of dishonest behavior....see if you can relate?

** You are late for an appointment because you slept in and took your good old time leaving the house, you make a quick and formal phone call, saying, "I'm on my way to meet you, i got held up." Now as your making this call....your actually still sipping your coffee...

YOU DID NOT GET HELD UP....you were being lazy, why don't you just be honest? Well...because if you were honest with them and yourself...that you are in fact a lazy person with no sense of time management, that it would scare you to death and you could lose your job, financial security, or relationships.

**Second example, " You try and hide something important from your family and friends." You make up stories or avoid the truth by deterring conversation and bring up distractions. You fear the truth could bring devastation, disappointment, hurt, so you keep it from them in your efforts to be a hero and protect them, but really all your doing is making the situation worse by keeping the truth from those you love. Truth always surfaces eventually.

**And one last example, "When you share something about another one's private life and details they did not want you to share and you say, "I promise, I will not tell anyone you have told me this in confidence...and then you run to your mother, brother, friend...and blab your mouth but say at the end...please pray for them and don't mention I told you." YOU HAVE LIED. You have not been an individual with whom trust could be given. Why do we do this? Why do good people make poor choices?

I can tell you some of the reasons...is because they lack discipline, respect for themselves and others, and lack of boundaries. I am sure you could list a few yourself if you actually sit and thought for awhile...

People have not really lived much by the phrase, "the truth will set you free," much these days. So what has happened is we have become surrounded by a society of people who feel it is OK to mask the truth. What happens is that people then become in bondage to their own behavior and their lives become anything but transparent.

Encouraging you today....to be a more honest person this year. Make better choices with your mouth and behavior. Watch how the world around you...changes...for the better. Truth is not always easy, fun, or the most rewarding but it is better to be honest then to be caught up in a lie.

People are always watching....even if you think they are not!

Serious heart condition

The most common thought about heart condition is most likely thought about in the "physical" sense. To experience a heart condition on a deeper level than just physical is to experience a heart condition in a "spiritual" sense. Let me explain how this works, people are created in the image of God, humans are a physical, emotional, and spiritual representation of their Creator. There is a deep void in the heart of every man and woman that only can be filled by knowing and having a relationship with God.

My heart breaks at the news of men killing other men in the name of God. Men turning against their wives and families. Despicable acts of injustice and murder every day on the news. I truly believe that people are suffering and in such despair that unless they come to have a real and lasting love with their God their heart will continue to harden and plague them and reap generations of destruction in families, marriages, ministries, and nations.

It is time for Christians to get serious about their heart conditions. It is time for the people that do not know God to see a difference in the lives of those who really do live a life that is victorious! Right now is not a good time for many people; job loss, sickness, poverty, hate, confusion, and fear have crippled many men and women. Let me encourage you, that the fear in your heart...has not been placed there by anyone who loves you. God loves you!

What condition is your heart in today? Think about your heart in a deeper sense than just your physical heart, think about what state your heart is in if you were to think about a condition that penetrates much deeper than that.

Strengths and Weaknesses: do you know yours?

If you have no idea your strengths or weaknesses I would recommend you take a long hard look into yourself for some time. Everyone at some point through direction from friends, family, or coworkers seems to have somewhat of an indicator of what talents they have been given. If you have not been as fortunate as to have guidance along the way and you have no idea where your strengths lie or your weaknesses one thing you can try is to take an exam. They have exams online that will tell you where your strengths lie and maybe where some of your weaker areas can be as well. These will help you discover more of yourself and possibly steer you in a better direction vocationally. There are some websites I have included below for you to look into further.

I would encourage you to join a team. Get involved with a project or organization that will throw you into having to work together with others. The best way to discover who you are is to take yourself out of the familiar! When someone gets very comfortable with their life its very easy to never discover new things about yourself and others. There are many needs out there and organizations that can use your help.

Getting married is one of the most unbelievable things that you can do to discover who and what you are made of. If you for one second think your life is perfect and you have little weaknesses, getting married will help keep your brain from reaching that prideful pinnacle. Spending time with another individual every day, every night, and for years to come will reveal things about yourself you never knew! Once your married, make a commitment to that person for life. In a marriage when both people are committed to discovering themselves and each other it makes a world of difference. Stay close to one another and maintain your relationship, attend marriage conferences to discover more about men, women, and one another.

The following sites can offer some helpful information in attending a marriage conference or knowing more about your personality.

Personality Quiz

Attend a Marriage Retreat

Solutions for Life

Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing at all.

How many times do we so quickly want to give advice, comment, or give an opinion? For so many, it is most likely more common to have something to say than to just sit back and listen. The more you face and experience and learn to wait in patient silence you learn lessons that only hardships can teach you over the course of your lifetime.

It is very easy to give a superficial response or a comment that is all too quickly shrugged off. There are many times when answers will not be there...and may never be this side of heaven. Questions go through our minds all the time in difficult circumstances. What do you say when your loved one comes home so beaten down and discouraged because of a job loss? What is to be said when you have a loved one who loses a child? How do you possibly come up with words to comfort a friend when they tell you they have been given a terminal diagnosis?

There are many times words will be just that... "words." Nothing can be said in certain times of deep despair that can bring comfort or solace. It is during these times that men and women need to draw strength from the deepest parts of who you are and what has been given to you by God to withstand such trying times.

Keeping the Peace

Homes are the place where those we love should find peace and solace. Every one needs a haven to rest their mind, body, and spirit from the cares of the world. The first step in keeping peace in the home is to live your life with decentsy and order. I know this sounds a bit basic, however, if you live a chaotic lifestyle you will reap a chaos filled home. Finances, relationships, and moods will be all over the charts. Learn to reign in your life around peace and make wise decisions, not only for yourself but for those you love.

Next lesson to be heard in keeping the peace throughout homes is to keep your mouth shut sometimes. That sounds a bit harsh to put it out there so bluntly, but truly understand that not everyone around you wants to hear your "opinions". Your thoughts and input are important to those you love. Be careful not to abuse this right though, if your always going off about something or your opinion on a matter...it will get to the point when those around you will not care so much for what you have to say because your always saying ...."something." Are you starting to get the point? Now lets move on to the next phase in keeping the peace.

Keeping the peace in your home can start with the atmosphere. Create an atmosphere that is enjoyable. Atmosphere improvement can be as simple as lighting a few candles to painting the color of your walls a more inviting shade than the blah white that was there when you moved in. Play music that evokes an atmosphere that you want to have in your home.

And finally one last thing that can help you keep the peace is to have boundaries established in your homes. Boundaries create stability, discipline, and an order that almost produces a peace on it's own and then it is up to you to carry it through to every day living.

More on Boundaries.

Healthy boundaries for your life

Everyone at times experiences the pull into different directions. The stress, the anxiety, and even fear this causes is completely unhealthy. Unfortunately, we live in a society where very few people understand let alone practice establishing healthy boundaries in their lives. All to easily things overtake your relationships and you become enmeshed with people or situations that you should not be that involved in to begin with.

When one suffers from totally taking ownership of their life, ultimately, they are living a boundary less lifestyle. When there is confusion about responsibility and ownership the problem is lack of boundaries. Boundaries are healthy if established properly. A boundary in this context refers to where you end and another person begins. First of all establish the areas where you feel pulled, stressed, taken advantage of, abused, or even manipulated in and pinpoint who or what makes you feel this way. Once you see where it begins you then need to draw a line and do not cross it or allow others to cross it. The one thing that is very important is that you enforce what you are going to establish for your life.

Once you have pinpointed those areas figure out which ones you are contributing to by not establishing a healthy boundary. What do you need to let go of in your life? There are things you will have to give up sometimes to live a life with boundaries. Family and career are two of the biggest areas this affects. The two involve relationships that are spent with those in very close proximity, which usually leads to a crossing of boundaries eventually. People sometimes do not know how to draw a line in the sand between themselves and others situations. The tendency to do so creates a very unhealthy pattern in your life. This pattern creates stress, anxiety, and sometimes a lack of respect for yourself and those around you.

Respect yourself enough to know where you as a person end in a relationship, job, project, business deal, volunteer opportunity, ministry, etc... Those around you need to understand that they do not control your time, life, or priorities.
The only one who can show them this is you! Be clear in what you have to say, stick to what you actually say, and carry through with what you have decided on.
* Boundaries are setting a clear path to equip you to live a healthier life and be a stronger person.