It was one of those days, I am sure if you are a parent or have had a parent you can relate to what I am about to share. The time on the clock seemed to somehow reach out and slap me in the face as I quickly glanced at it and realized it was not even 8 am. A weekday! Yes a busy work filled, purpose driven day, full of everything it needed and most of what I did not in that moment. I was a mom, a wife, a women's leader, a business owner, and the list goes on. I had a list of orders to fill, clients to call, laundry piling, and a mound of 58 socks that I can not seem to find their mate! I had a puppy barking for breakfast, a husband who could not find his keys, a 5 year old who had a bloody nose, and a 2 year old who pooped her way into a new day! It was lovely. I had no time for my needs. I wanted a shower. I wanted to do my hair, I wanted to brush my teeth, drink some water, and make myself a healthy breakfast, but that was no where in sight; not for at least an hour or two ( if I was lucky).
I felt sick, I felt overwhelmed. I needed strength! I need a life coach for crying out loud! I needed to go down stairs and read some of my own material! What I really wanted though was to get in my car drive to the nearest Starbucks, get my misto and check in to the nearest day spa and stay there until it all just went away. The needs, they were great. The neediness of my little family, my adorable puppy,endless emails, the job,church ministries,unpaid bills, my ghastly hair, and my hungry stomach; it was screaming silently at me. And I wanted it to just, "Stop!"
Have you been there? If you are being honest I know you can relate! I was tired, deeply! In that moment I went to work, I pushed through how I felt. I packed the lunch, kicked the 58 socks into a corner, pulled my out of control hair back, and cleaned up the poop. (literally)
But I was sad, overwhelmed, and exhausted. It was not even 8 am remember! I managed to sit for a few moments to sip the cold coffee I poured 30 minutes ago and my five year old looked at me,as she was getting ready to walk out the door for school. Her free spirit and love of life captured my heart. Here was this beautiful little child, my child! She had no idea of the pressures of life I had been living through, she did not know that mommy had a bunch of bills to pay and there was not enough money,she did not know her sister had welcomed the day with a dirty diaper, she did not even care that there were 58 pairs of socks laying on the floor. All she knew was that I was here with her, (as bad as I felt).
I bent down to kiss her head and she grabbed my face and looked up at me and said, "Mom, I think you are beautiful! "
I could have given her a million kisses in that moment if it were possible. She spoke life into my very being. I can assure you I was not beautiful in that moment. I felt hurried, tired, broken, and obviously un-showered. I will not forget that moment in time. It was just a second, a small phrase spoken by my little brown eyed girl, but she was used to speak an incredible amount of renewed energy into my very being.
You see; moms and dads, we do a ton. A ton of which is never seen by anyone at times. Most times, most people have no idea what is really going on in your life. There are moms out there who are tired, worn down, and lost in the transition. There are dads out there who seem to try to do it all with no end in sight. You are not alone and this is not in vain. ( I am taking this all in!)
You have no idea the difference you make in the lives of those you live with. To them, you are their world, you make it what ever you display.
I know it is stinken hard, I am not going to say I think parenting is easy. I think its the toughest job out there. This is coming from a girl who worked three jobs in my 20's just to survive. I am telling you being a parent, working, and keeping your family strong is a major deal! A huge sacrifice.
I never knew how much was invested. I can tell you one thing, I appreciate my mom and dad more now than ever before. Now that I'm the one up to my elbows in poop, stress, and mornings without a shower. I can tell you one thing, I know it won't last. These day are fleeting and we need to hold on to the moments when we can find solace in the eyes of your children, the beautiful little one's that you will hand off your legacy to. Let it be one worth handing over.