Dear Uncertainty...

Yeah I just wrote a letter to " Uncertainty", seems odd but strangely enough seeing it made me think about the last few years of my life. According to the dictionary, uncertainty:is the unknown, the doubtful, the one thing that has not been revealed. In the last few years uncertainty has been the one thing in my life that has been constant among other things.  If anyone knows me well enough and close enough they know that things have not been easy. I have at times questioned, wondered and prayed about these uncertain times.
And guilty mostly at allowing it to ruin my day sometimes. I get caught up in the sadness, disappointments, or setbacks. I have had to ask forgiveness, reset, and regroup over and over again.
There are so many things that we will never understand. The past few years I have dealt with all of this personally or have seen this happen within my inner circle: the death of those we loved or didn't have a chance to love, rejection from those we trusted in, accidental deaths, incurable sickness, the bipolar and untreated toxic family member who continues to cause chaos, mental illnesses, the job losses, the financial crisis, depression, loved one's who betray us, loved ones who choose not love you or be part of your life! All of it happens and all of it hurts,confuses, and bewilders even the strongest of souls.
How does anyone even get past it all? How can you go on with this darkness in your spirit sometimes that you feel is beyond being lit again, how can you soar when you feel like you have lost all will or reason?
I have learned that to question is ok... but in times where it seems "bittering" we need God. Not a god, but the one true GOD. We can stand on the corner of bitter or better and choose to walk in bitter but if we do it will destroy you from the inside out. We need a hope to believe in, we need a foundation stronger then who we are, and what we think were made of, and it only comes from obtaining faith. Faith is not a crutch, faith is the reason and hope that we all need when we go through things we don't understand.
We must choose in our minds that today will not be a day we will allow uncertainty to ruin us.
Whatever it is that you are going through today, you have to know that you are certainly not alone, this time is only temporary, and tomorrow is a new day.
But as for today... do not allow what you don't understand keep you from all that God has purposed you for in this lifetime.

INSPIRE- Book Release- Order it on AMAZON

I was so excited to be part of this beautiful journey in authoring a book with 20 other women this past year. This inspirational book is full of joy, heartbreak, victories, and overcoming life's obstacles. It is a sure way to motivate anyone that has felt down and needed to know that HOPE exists. Check it out on AMAZON today- http://www.amazon.com/Inspire-Stories-Accomplishment-Encouragement-Influence/dp/0692234241/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1404269268&sr=1-1

When Life Gets in The Way!

The Great Balancing Act

Trying to reach your goals and fulfill your dreams is hard enough without distraction but when life gets in the way that is when you need to understand that this is where your determination and a huge balancing act need to kick in. Life will get in the way! There is no denying the power of distraction, it happens. Sometimes it is very legitimate things that come into our lives that do require our attention, however, you need to keep in mind what your goals are for your life in these certain area’s.

1.     Have a plan of action. You need to know ahead of time which things are the most important to you. EX: Family, Health, Work, etc…Make a list if you need to and prioritize.

2.     Stick to your plan. I know it sounds basic, but really it is formative in reaching your goals. If you know that you have set time aside for your family than be true to your commitments, if you know you want to get up earlier and work out and you have that as a set plan of action then schedule it in and stay committed to this.

3.     Prepare for battle. Some of you are wondering what I mean by battle? Well, if you are planning on doing anything to better your life prepare for the battle of your life. You will find that your mind plays a huge role in achieving success, you will have to reign in your fear and go forward.

4.     Develop tougher skin. I know this is not easy for some people, especially those who are more sensitive by nature. And sensitivity is an amazing attribute that can be used to bless the lives of others in many ways. But what I am referring to is tougher skin in regards to your own well -being. It is sad but when you start to reach your goals and you are becoming more successful, there will always be someone you love or even hold dear that will in their heart not be happy for you. This will hurt. You will not understand this unless you prepare for it. It can cripple…and actually hault someone’s progress. But you have to know that if someone is not happy for you….they are not happy! Their unhappiness is with themselves now your achievements. GO FORWARD!

5.     Reassess!! To reach your goals it will require a time of reflection and making sure you are staying on track. Get accountability with someone you trust to make sure you are moving forward. Set up smaller goals along the way to ensure you are staying on task.

6.     Be honest. You have to be in tune with the reality of your life and situations. Many times people are not realistically looking at what is right in front of them and they are out of touch with their own reality. Take a hard look at yourself and be honest with yourself if you are not reaching your goals. Ask yourself some questions EX: “Am I really serious about these goals?”: “Am I being honest with myself about my weight, finances, relationships, etc?” If you can’t be real with yourself about what your situation actually is, you can’t be in a position to be healthier.

Overweight and In Debt

Yesterday my husband and I spent the afternoon celebrating the fourth of July. As we enjoyed a wonderful day out I could not help but notice soda machines at this particular tourist attraction. These were not the typical soda machine where you put your change in and you can pick your deadly drink. These were fully equipped with credit card readers and distributed you a receipt for purchase. Not that you need a $1.00 receipt but that really is not my point. I am so unbelievable annoyed by this discovery. Obesity is one of the fastest growing problems here in America along with credit card debt. Seeing these just proved even more that companies are not "helping" the american public by offering them a more convenient choice to pay for their addictions but they are helping them down a road to self destruction.
If someone that chooses to drink soda, does not have the money for it, why should they be able to charge that drink?
It is so disgusting. More options for people to continue to be overweight and in more financial debt. Very  sad!

Dealing with chaotic people

This has been a question I have asked myself for several years now. It is unfortunate that there are so many people who seem to thrive off "chaos". I recently had a long and meaningful talk with a dearly loved family member who has struggled with the same questions for years. This is an incredibly hard thing to describe or deal with for those who have known people like this or have experienced it, you know how gut wrenching it is to watch people spiral out of control. There is nothing you can do to stop the behavior, the behavior happens for many reasons. In most cases this is in fact a personality disorder that does need medical and professional treatment and many never seek it.
For those left to pick up their pieces or live in the pain, destruction, and confusion they have left everyone in, it can be one of the hardest struggles you have to fight. Here are a few things to keep in mind:
1. Keep a healthy separation from the person who is destructive.
2. The drama has to end when there is not a listening ear.
3. Set boundaries! Stick to them.
4. Do not conduct business or personal affairs with destructive individuals.
5. Tough love is key. The person is 'enabled" to continue when they are given money, provisions, and sympathy.
6. Removing yourself from the situation may be necessary. This may have to be permanent depending on the severity of an issue.
7. Call the authorities if you are being abused in any way. Violations of law and criminal acts,should never be tolerated even within your family. When it is a close family member, many struggle with the emotional attachments rather than their own safety. You need to do what is best for you.
8. Lost ideals are going to surface in your mind about how you wish this relationship could have been, accept that as a consequence of this persons behavior and move on. There are other people who will value you and cherish your relationship.


Hurting people always hurt people. Healed people bring healing and healthy contributions to a relationship. 

The Choice

"I've learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances." 
—Martha Washington


What an awesome quote. I have to agree! I have been through the valleys and stood on the peaks and every time it was the attitude that either made my day or broke my day.
How many people have had terrible things happen to them and yet remain ever still so humbled and sincere. Many times it takes someone to be broken into such small pieces that the only way for them to recover is to be made into something so "new" , beautiful, and rare.


Yes, life many times is not fair. You have the choice to make though in how you will handle yourself. What kind of decisions will you make? Will you choose to be healthier? Will you choose to be an overcomer? 
There are times to be sad, grieve, or mourn the loss of someone or a circumstance. But the fact is this, sooner or later you will stop crying and then you are going to have to do something about it!
Make the choice today that is will help you be a better, stronger, and more healthier individual. 

Stay at home parents and working out

For many parents who stay home with their children, it can be hard to work out. Children can be very demanding of your time and finances, so a gym may not be possible. Also, many people believe to work out, they need gym equipment, that could not be further from the truth. Exercise can be started with little or no equipment and can be cost effective for those who do not have extra costs for a gym. Here are some great tips to check out for parents who want to work out and think it is impossible. Nothing is impossible!

EXERCISE TIPS FOR STAY AT HOME PARENTS

Dirty Little Secrets Grow

It is the little secrets done along the way that grow into bigger things later on! Things that can no longer be kept a secret, no longer masked by pain or hidden from public eye. It is the mighty oak that sprouts from a seed planted deep in the ground that grows into a massive tree to provide shade, and protection from the elements. However, what happened in secret is what made that tree what it is today.
I am not sure why, it really could just be the pure human condition of souls deprived from a Creator who longs to set them free, but it still always surprises me when I witness
or see a little "secret" that blows up in another's face. It could be subtle, it could be silly, sensual, or it could very easily be a felony; it doesn't matter how big or small the dirty little secret is...what matters is that there had to be one to begin with. The basic human nature apart from the saving grace of God is tainted and driven in a direction of wanting to "hide". Hiding things goes all the way back to the garden of Eden, the beginning of time, where man in all his perfect surroundings gave into temptation and HID himself and what had been done because of shame.
But it was no secret, there was nothing done in the dark that ever stays there, things will and do get brought into the light. Many times it is ugly, shameful, downright awful and gut wrenching. People are hurt. Relationships are broken. Dreams are forgotten. Positions and business ties are lost. Reputations are ruined.
I am talking about all kinds of secrets today the big and small, the ones that keep you from losing weight, the ones that keep you from saving your marriage, or the one that keeps you from getting into jail. It does not matter!
What you do when no one else is watching is a clear indicator of what your character is made up of. Let's say for a minute on a minor scale that you want to lose weight and be more healthy but when no one is around to hold you accountable your eating high fat food and chugging sodas to get you through the day. You get frustrated with yourself and cover it up by saying that when things slow down or become less chaotic you will get back to "business" and concentrate on getting healthier. Meanwhile, the scale does not lie. You continue to gain weight and become more unhealthy as time goes on. Maybe your a business owner, struggling to try and make it in this tough economy, you see some area's where being dishonest can be "worked" to your benefit and so you lie, commit fraud, or cheat other people. I am even speaking to the one who is developing deep connections to someone emotionally other then their spouse. Your spouse is turning out to not be prince or princess charming and your frustration has lead you down a path of secrets.
I challenge your thoughts today, your motives! Think about your little secrets, because friend, they are not as little as you think!

Sticking to a financial plan

In a tough economy coming up with a financial plan is almost necessary for survival. Sticking to a financial plan will not only create financially stability, but will also enhance your discipline.Start of by developing a financial spending plan. As you think about this plan start to create a report that lists all your assets and how much you owe every month on bills. Knowing what you have to work with is getting a better knowledge of your current financial state. Being honest and real about your situation will also spur you on towards changes that need to be made.


Once you have come up with your budget and how much is paid out every month, you need to stick to it! This is when discipline is put into action and it is down right hard, especially for the extra cup of coffee or those football tickets flashing before your eyes. Every one has those extra little treats that they like to spend money on.  You must stay committed to your budget for a set period of time in order to see real results in your finances.


If you are married, you need to use teamwork while your planning out your financial goals. Teamwork involves both people working towards the same things, if your not in agreement than the whole structure will not work out and your finances will slowly start to disappear from over spending. Celebrate the small milestones along the way as a couple.
Your financial freedom when you work together is closer than you think! 

Financial Wellness

Having financial wellness is establishing a balance in a few areas of your life. Financial stability encompasses your emotional and physical health as well. Being financial "well" means that you have a deep understanding of where your money is coming from, how much you have, and where you are going to distribute it.
So how well are you financially? Take a few moments to ask yourself some of these questions.
1. Do you balance your checkbook and keep tabs on your spending habits? (How often?)
2. How much debt do you currently have in your name or spouses name? ( Are you doing anything about it?)
3. Do you feel it is alright to use your spouses credit score to run up more debt if you have already destroyed your own credit score?
4. Do you have finances set aside for retirement? (What types of long-term investing are you doing)
5. Do you tend to always think your debt will get taken care of eventually? (Why are you not being consistent with it now?)
6. Do you find happiness in your job? (Does your job provide enough financial security for you and your family?)
7. Do you know what your net worth is?
8. Have you been seriously struggling for more than a year financially? ( Why? What is going on in your life that is allowing this to continue?)
9. Do you have an emergency fund set aside? ( How much do you have? )
10. Are you living within your means? ( Do you buy toys, vacations, gadgets, or supplies over and beyond what you really can afford?)
11. Are you being unwise in how you spend your money?

What are the results? Be honest with yourself when reading these questions, the truth is not easy to confront. Many are drowning in debt, families are being destroyed because of financial instability. Getting finances in order is not only wise, but it is the right thing to do for your future and those around you.
Pushing the stack of bills to the side over and over again because you do not have what it takes to pay them off, will only hurt you more in the future. Credit cards tack on late fee's, and interest fees every month...the longer you take to pay your bills on them they will grow. Individuals who refuse to pay on their debt are getting in more debt the longer they wait to do something about it, on a $5000.00 credit card bill that is not being paid on, it will be costing you about 120.00 a month by just letting it sit there. It is astounding!

Get control of your finances. If your not making enough money to pay your bills than you need a new job that is more consistent and that does not put you in more in debt. To be healthier in these areas of your life physically, emotionally, and financially you must take ownership of the things that keep you from moving forward and make some changes.

Secret stressors causing anxiety?

We all have stress we deal with from time to time, and usually we think of the bigger things: finances, health, or relational issues. There are hidden stressors that actually cause you to internally have anxiety about things you can get control over but first you have to recognize that these are actually there lurking in the back of your mind.
Possible causes of anxiety (hidden stressors):
1. Clutter- Your house is a mess, and you have stacks of unpaid bills and papers laying around in various places. That stack of laundry that is sitting piled up on the dryer or on your floor is staring you right in the face every time you walk past it. There has to be some changes in the way you handle clutter and how you "keep up" with the every day tasks. If you let things go then it will seem ten times bigger in your mind when you do decide to tackle the project. You may have to delegate and ask for some help from a spouse, friend, or a professional. ( This depends on how long you have let it go...if were talking "hoarders" here then call a professional, for smaller tasks like laundry or just basic clutter than gain some ownership today and reclaim your space.)
2. Cell Phone Texting/ Mobile Email- We live in an amazing information age and have 24 hour access to our jobs, friends, and family through a small device worn on your body most of the time or in a purse, your cell phone. The constant sound of a text or email is sending your brain an "urgent" message that there is something you need to address ASAP. Really though...do you really need to address it that  quickly. Take some steps back and understand that you were not meant to be concentrating on so many things at one time in any given day! There are times when you can get back to those who need you and respond to those emails at a time that is not crucial for your health. Dinner time, quiet time, family time, etc...those are areas that you need to be focused and in tune with those around you, it is only polite and also healthy for you to engage with those sitting in front of your face.
3. Facebook/Twitter- YES I did bring out the big boys here in mentioning facebook and twitter in hidden stressors. I think personally that these are great tools for social networking and getting connected with people. However, let us face what is happening here truthfully do you really want to know that your neighbors best friend is hanging her laundry out to dry and oh my goodness, your husband just walked in the door and stepped on the cat as your child was throwing up and you burned dinner. Is that not hilarious that this also happened when you still had time to type that all out and tell 200 of your facebook connections about your dilema? The stress factor here is this, it plays on your emotions as you read about every one else's day as you try to juggle your own. There is life around you meant to be lived and experienced, there are times for facebook but there are also times for many other fulfilling people and activities right in front of you that you could be making a memory with or enjoying a quiet time of peace to yourself. Be comfortable in the quiet of your day...you may learn something about yourself you never knew.
4. Wake up call/Alarm- Did you know that the way you wake up can set the tone for your entire day? Does your alarm blare loudly as you hit the snooze for 45 minutes? Internally you know that that horrible sound is coming again in 9 minutes but yet you still lay there anticipating the extra time to sleep, but yet your really not asleep...your in an in between state of being awake and still tired. New mom's and dad's struggle with this for many months, they can not wake up to peace, a screaming child wanting fed is now the stressor that pulls them from sweet slumber. Try to allow yourself some extra time to wake up before the morning routine begins, if your alarm sound is stressing you out then buy a new one or wake up to some motivating music.
Try some new things out today and this week that can help eliminate hidden stressors in your life.
Creating Balance