Dear Uncertainty...

Yeah I just wrote a letter to " Uncertainty", seems odd but strangely enough seeing it made me think about the last few years of my life. According to the dictionary, uncertainty:is the unknown, the doubtful, the one thing that has not been revealed. In the last few years uncertainty has been the one thing in my life that has been constant among other things.  If anyone knows me well enough and close enough they know that things have not been easy. I have at times questioned, wondered and prayed about these uncertain times.
And guilty mostly at allowing it to ruin my day sometimes. I get caught up in the sadness, disappointments, or setbacks. I have had to ask forgiveness, reset, and regroup over and over again.
There are so many things that we will never understand. The past few years I have dealt with all of this personally or have seen this happen within my inner circle: the death of those we loved or didn't have a chance to love, rejection from those we trusted in, accidental deaths, incurable sickness, the bipolar and untreated toxic family member who continues to cause chaos, mental illnesses, the job losses, the financial crisis, depression, loved one's who betray us, loved ones who choose not love you or be part of your life! All of it happens and all of it hurts,confuses, and bewilders even the strongest of souls.
How does anyone even get past it all? How can you go on with this darkness in your spirit sometimes that you feel is beyond being lit again, how can you soar when you feel like you have lost all will or reason?
I have learned that to question is ok... but in times where it seems "bittering" we need God. Not a god, but the one true GOD. We can stand on the corner of bitter or better and choose to walk in bitter but if we do it will destroy you from the inside out. We need a hope to believe in, we need a foundation stronger then who we are, and what we think were made of, and it only comes from obtaining faith. Faith is not a crutch, faith is the reason and hope that we all need when we go through things we don't understand.
We must choose in our minds that today will not be a day we will allow uncertainty to ruin us.
Whatever it is that you are going through today, you have to know that you are certainly not alone, this time is only temporary, and tomorrow is a new day.
But as for today... do not allow what you don't understand keep you from all that God has purposed you for in this lifetime.

The Sister Act... that got my attention!

OK, so I haven't blogged much lately. I have been growing my business, in the middle of a move, and raising a family. I have been posting lots of recipes, and to be honest most of the time, I post them so I don't lose them! I guess somehow I figure if I take the time to put it out there then somehow I can always look it up on here. Anyway, this past week I was waiting in line at the market and stressed beyond measure. Needed to take myself somewhere and have a real little heart to heart life coaching on myself and kick myself in the pants.
I needed a vacation, I needed just 5 minutes of quiet time alone... but what I had instead was far from it. I also was waiting in a ridiculous line of people to pay for a small basket full of items while my two Little's where none the less fighting over who would scan the yogurt pops first at the self checkout line, my husband was calling me to inform me of yet another stressful event as we pursue getting a mortgage, and I really think I had gum on my shoe. I was literally aching to run into a hole, but the nearest bathroom looked awesome.
I stood there wanting to just scream.... and then I saw her.... the sister. And I mean no disrespect but she was indeed, a sister. A nun, who had made her solemn and virtuous vow.
I watched her, as she laughed, and made effortless conversation with the clerk, she smiled, she looked calm, she looked happy, she looked realllllly really clean, and her hair....well, she didn't need to fuss about the perma pony I usually try to figure out. She just looked and seemed amazing... and there it was.... BAM! It crossed my mind..... yep it did....why was she so happy? And I have to honest.... I really thought to myself...wow.. I know why she is happy, she made a vow to love God, pursue her life, and live alone!  I know what you're thinking; how awful of me. I have two amazing kids, a husband who works hard, two business's and yet somehow in that very tough moment I wondered.
I wondered what her life was like, why did mine seem so overwhelming, and why did I feel so bad about it all.
I know we all have those days, whether you are single or married. I have been on both sides. I have cried when I wasn't married and had someone to come home to every night and I have cried because I had it too. Been there and both are not easy. The biggest thing I have discovered is that we have to be content and cultivate the things and people which make us feel that way.
We have one life, one shot at this and it really is up to me to make the most of every day,thank God for what I do have around me, and keep hope and faith about what is to come in the future.