I thought you were a friend?

Have you uttered those words under your breath or maybe even said that to someone in your life.I know I have, especially as of late. Some times in life we are faced with utter and complete betrayl, lies, and hurt by those who you have trusted and loved.  Friendship, one of the best gifts in a lifetime. I have heard that in one's life span you are blessed if you ever have 4-6 really good and deep friendships. Friendships that are healthy are the deep, unconditional kind of relationships that bring you as close to someone or closer than an actual blood relative. Those are the the kinds of people that hold you accountable, love you when you are hurting, support you when you are trying to succeed, and will laugh,cry,and celebrate all of life's ups and downs with you.
A real friend will not be a "yes" person and tickle your eyes with what you want to hear all the time. Someone that cares about you will tell you what you need to hear and listen when you need to talk. There are few people that you can be that transparent with and should be careful with whom you confide in.
Characteristics of a lifelong friend:
Loyal
Trustworthy
Honest
Integrity Driven
Responsible
Stable
Establishes Boundaries
Respectful
Value System
Moral and Ethical standards
Healthy
The best thing you can do is to be a lifelong friend. There are some who will come and go...but those who you always can depend on will shine in time! 

Is it follow the leader?

I've heard the phrase from time to time that, "you know when you are a leader when you turn around and people are following you." A true leader in business , ministry, or community leads by example. If you need to constantly remind people that you are the leader, there's a pretty good indicator that your not doing your job. Setting a standard for how things should be done needs to come from the top down. Things just don't fall into their places without clear vision and direction. I'm even more motivated to have clear goals, set forth vision, and standards for how I carry my own life and business. The last few months I have seen poor examples of leadership, makes my heart heavy and my spirit motivated. If you have found yourself in a position where you are not valued, your are being taken advantage of or abused, get out of the unhealthy place you are in. Unhealthy places and people take on many forms. I want to encourage you to stay true to who you are no matter what comes against you. Progress is necessary for people to grow and thrive. The process can be painful but just know that anytime you are doing great things , there are those who will not want to celebrate that with you. Shake off the dust and move on, they are not worth your time and energy.
It starts with you...be the positive changes you want to see!!

Character, what is it?

Over the past several years, since I began life coaching one of the things you depend upon when working with other people is that you would hope they are being honest with you. Even in a relationship or friendship we all desire honesty and transparency but we do not live in a perfect world. For many reasons people lie, most of the time it is to protect themselves, to gain some sort of personal gratification, to hide, or to even have some control over a situation they feel is out of control. Of course, none of it is actually valid but in the moment, it happens.
So what is character? Is someone's character really shown by their actions? I believe character is shown when someone lives their life as if nothing is a secret. What you do in secret when you think no one is watching defines who you really are and what you are actually all about.

Dirty Little Secrets Grow

It is the little secrets done along the way that grow into bigger things later on! Things that can no longer be kept a secret, no longer masked by pain or hidden from public eye. It is the mighty oak that sprouts from a seed planted deep in the ground that grows into a massive tree to provide shade, and protection from the elements. However, what happened in secret is what made that tree what it is today.
I am not sure why, it really could just be the pure human condition of souls deprived from a Creator who longs to set them free, but it still always surprises me when I witness
or see a little "secret" that blows up in another's face. It could be subtle, it could be silly, sensual, or it could very easily be a felony; it doesn't matter how big or small the dirty little secret is...what matters is that there had to be one to begin with. The basic human nature apart from the saving grace of God is tainted and driven in a direction of wanting to "hide". Hiding things goes all the way back to the garden of Eden, the beginning of time, where man in all his perfect surroundings gave into temptation and HID himself and what had been done because of shame.
But it was no secret, there was nothing done in the dark that ever stays there, things will and do get brought into the light. Many times it is ugly, shameful, downright awful and gut wrenching. People are hurt. Relationships are broken. Dreams are forgotten. Positions and business ties are lost. Reputations are ruined.
I am talking about all kinds of secrets today the big and small, the ones that keep you from losing weight, the ones that keep you from saving your marriage, or the one that keeps you from getting into jail. It does not matter!
What you do when no one else is watching is a clear indicator of what your character is made up of. Let's say for a minute on a minor scale that you want to lose weight and be more healthy but when no one is around to hold you accountable your eating high fat food and chugging sodas to get you through the day. You get frustrated with yourself and cover it up by saying that when things slow down or become less chaotic you will get back to "business" and concentrate on getting healthier. Meanwhile, the scale does not lie. You continue to gain weight and become more unhealthy as time goes on. Maybe your a business owner, struggling to try and make it in this tough economy, you see some area's where being dishonest can be "worked" to your benefit and so you lie, commit fraud, or cheat other people. I am even speaking to the one who is developing deep connections to someone emotionally other then their spouse. Your spouse is turning out to not be prince or princess charming and your frustration has lead you down a path of secrets.
I challenge your thoughts today, your motives! Think about your little secrets, because friend, they are not as little as you think!