The Myth of Multi-tasking

Though, the hallmark of the twenty-first century has been multitasking. In reality, it isn't a good policy. When you do several things at once, you don't focus on any one task. Mistakes are made and everything becomes combined and messy. Also, when we multitask, we often aren’t giving another human being our full attention. We half-listen and then carry on with our tasks. This does nothing to foster team building at work or personal relationships at home. It's best to do just one thing at a time and focus on one person at a time.

When you do, you can accomplish more, feel more in control, and be a lot more pleasant to be around. You also can greatly reduce your stress levels. 

The "smart" device age has caused an increasing level of distraction as well. Set clear boundaries so you can have balance, you need to know when to shut it off and put it away. 

No one wants to be labeled a jack of all trades and a master of none! Let us all seek to pursue the best possible life we can give ourselves and families!

Come Awake

I am in the middle of preparing for a conference this week. I am so excited and overwhelmed all at once. Today is Good Friday, I am sitting here preparing for a women's conference called, Awaken. I heard this song and it is so incredible. I do not know where you are at today but I know where He was at on that day. Check out this video and be encouraged. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sn2a73B0uB0

Mean what you say....and say what you mean!

Words....they have the power to heal, motivate,and encourage. Words.....also have the power to destroy, tear down, and cripple. I find it astounding how loosely people speak to each other sometimes in relationships. As if the words they say will be quickly forgiven or looked past in an instant. It just isn't true. I have been married for several years, married into a family where words have been thrown around like a volleyball their entire lives. I see how it destroys children, makes disrespectful teenagers, and poor intimate relationships. I have seen how people can truly hurt others with their communication. I can see how generations will be affected by the actions of today. It is very important to treat people in your life with deep respect and mutual admiration. Your children will see how you relate and become the mirror image of you. Generations always reap what you sow.

My grandfather....a legacy not forgotten

Today is my grandfathers birthday. He would have been 75. He passed into eternity a few days ago, and as I write this I only wish he could be alive to read the words and know how much he has meant, not just to me, but to everyone he came in contact with on a regular basis. It is so strange that someone has to die to make everyone around them realize what a great person they lost. It doesn't seem to make sense. Going through this the last few days has made me think about so much, I have experienced a ton of emotions and am brought to tears at the thought I will never hear his laugh or listen to his sense of humor anymore. I have also thought more about what it means to value the people in your life while you have them, love them a little deeper, hug them a little longer, look at them a few more times...because you really never know when one's time here is completed.
I mentioned he was a legacy not forgotten,and I mean that in so many ways. He was not just a good person, he was an exceptional man. I've known a lot of men, I was raised with one along with my mom, I grew up beside five of them (my two brothers and three dear brother friends next door), I have loved a couple and lost a couple, and now I am married to one; and I have to say that in looking at his life;  he lived NOT like most men. I know he had flaws, no one is perfect: however, he was a man that rarely exists in one human being. He loved life, he adored his wife, he cherished his children, never criticized, sought hard after God, prayed daily for those who loved, and lived out what he believed, was gentle and kind, yet incredibly strong. He took joy in little things like caring for flowers, birds, and gardening, yet owned his own business for years as a hard working and dedicated husband and father.
I stood at his graveside and listened as so many that loved him shared their thoughts, their memories, the treasured moments they shared with this man while he walked this earth and it made me even deeper stunned that this man who I have known all my life was my very own and dear grandfather. His children and wife had not one thing negative to ever say of him, he walked with respect and treated everyone around him with respect as every decent human being should do. I thought to myself, what a life to live....where no one around you ever had anything negative to say about you or could ever remember one bad thought of him. That is the kind of life I want to live. I know he will never know this from me at this point, but I so deeply value and treasure all he has taught me even in his death.
He longed to see people around him be a better person, he prayed long hours for those he loved to come to a better understanding of what it meant to live a pure and righteous life. I know he prayed for me, and I am sure his love for his family and the prayers for those he loved were heard and are being answered even today.

"I love you Pop. Today you are celebrating with the love of your life, your Lord and Savior and for that I am so happy for you. You have made a lasting impression on everyone you knew and I am grateful I had an amazing man in my own life like you to show me the kind of life I want to live.In your honor, love Laura"

Celebrating Victories

I don't know about you, but I can guess you have had some victories in your life and some things that maybe have not been so great either. I think the one thing that surprises me, even though I have seen this happen many times in my own life or even with other's, is that people you feel should be happy for you, are not.
True friends and family will celebrate your most incredible victories no matter how big or small and will be there when you are in the lowest points of darkness in your life as well. That is what makes a friend a true and steadfast factor in your life.
I live in a neighborhood currently where 85% of the population is from another country. Yes, they are not familiar with this land, and I am also not familiar with theirs. I actually feel sometimes I live more amongst their own culture then my own because I am the minority. However, the other day I had a most amazing conversation that crossed all cultural bounds with my neighbor. She stood and spoke with me of how if her and her husband ever returned to  their own country, their own family would not be happy for them because they have succeeded so much here and made something of themselves. How interesting! Even in a culture so very different than ours. Jealousy still runs deep.
Why can't people, the one's you dearly love just be happy for you? It is the dark places in hearts that most never want to expose. The outward appearance of all that could be happy, with a fake smile, but somewhere deep inside there is that nagging feeling of, Why them? Why not me? He does not deserve that? She should never get to have that when I never did?
It is terrible, but the truth.
In my own life I have been in the most darkest of nights that my soul ached and my heart was so heavy I barley knew if I could get up off the floor most days from sobbing. In those times there has been one maybe two people that I knew I could share my inner most thoughts and they would never judge me, but be honest and true and most off all love me unconditionally. To this day, I consider them my closest and dearest earthly treasures.
These are the kinds of individuals that you strive to make connection with and in your whole life you maybe have 4 or 5 at the most, that you will ever be that totally open and transparent with on a daily basis. These dear one's celebrate your victories, even if it is so small as, "you got through one day without a donut!". These are the jewels in your life that shine through all the muck you have had to tread through to get to where you are today.
Celebrating every little thing today can change your entire life, your way of thinking, your way of acting, and your way of loving! Thank you to the dear treasures God has placed in my life. I hope you too, can find a few of your own.

Love

The Four Loves: C.S. Lewis
"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will becomeunbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell. "



Profound, buy yet so true. Love is not easy, and coupled with life's challenges it is increasingly harder to live a life so deeply penetrated and devoted to this one word: Love. Pursue your dearly loved and treasured relationships. Healthy and whole lives encompass every single facet of living, from the inside out. Relationships with others and a relationship with your creator are so essential. Live and be well. 

Is someone lying to you?

As you read that title, "is someone lying to you", I am almost positive you have had someone lie to you or is currently lying to you in some way or another. Why do people lie? Where is the honesty and conviction in the hearts of people that make them chose the right thing?
Here are a few reasons people lie:
-To protect themselves from a consequence of their behavior.
-Protection of feelings.
-Wants to postpone making a lifestyle change.
-To hide something they did or did not do.
-To make themselves appear better or more successful, poor self esteem.
-To be in control, or to think they are in control of a situation.
-Want to avoid the embarrassment of being caught in deception.

If you have a gut feeling your being lied to, usually it is right on. If you probe and find your still being deceived and it feels worse than before, you need to confront them on the issue.
You need to have the obvious facts when you confront someone and make sure you are ready for what the confrontation will cause in your relationship. No one wants to be told they are lying, even if they are a liar.
I personally have no pity on people who lie. I have been lied to many times in many different situations. It is a shame, but in the heart of man is a nature that needs to be brought under control. If not, the nature to do ungodly things will always surface. I have had people say, "its just a little white lie." A lie is a lie and if you want your relationships to be grounded in a deep and mutual respect worthy way and have the utmost level of trust within them, then the lying needs to stop. There is no way around this situation.
Lying causes harm, it ruins relationships, it makes your levels of complete transparency and trust just go right out the window.
Here are some resources that can help you when you have relationships with people who have a problem with being totally honest with the people around them. Lies in any relationship are a hard thing to handle. In a marriage , lies can be a huge blow to your intimacy and trust levels.
Top Books on Lying
Top 6 Books About Lying

Work on YOU!

Many people don't want to work on themselves. The process is too deep, too hard, too painful, too time consuming, too much work, etc...I have heard it all. The truth behind this is very simple though. If you do not work on yourself, no one else will. Change only happens when you put your mind to it and get to a point where the pains of being the same hurt worse then the pains change will bring. If that never comes then most people will continue to live the stagnant, existing life they have always lived. Life is supposed to be thriving, there should be growth, signs of change, positive fruit shown in your life. By fruit I mean qualities that are whole, right, and true. Qualities that are loving, patient, honest, kind, faithful, joyful ,peaceful, and lovely. These kinds of character traits are not given to everyone at birth, some people by nature or ability are more loving and gentle...but all these qualities should be worked on as you progress through life. Qualities are just a tip on the iceberg there are issues of well being that encompasses lifestyle, environment, choices, and spiritual decisions.

It is much easier for some people to just give up on their dreams, their aspirations, their marriages, their families, their well being all for the selfish reason that it is just too much work. Marriage is too hard so they get a divorce. Staying healthy is too difficult and they will never be in good shape so they sulk over a fudge brownie. Working a fulfilling job is out of reach so they work a job they hate till they retire and then live with regret that they never did what they wanted to do or were made to do. Knowing that God wants to have a relationship with them is just too uncomfortable so they spend a lifetime searching for fulfillment in a world full of empty promises and the void is never filled like it should be.

It is about a choice, everyone has them, every single person has the same 24 hours a day, every single day! What choice will you make? What direction will you allow your mind to take you today?

How to keep your mind healthy.

Spring is here...so get rid of the clutter!

Organization is not something everyone is good at, however, it does not mean you have to live like a slob. Organize periodically and try to keep up with the clutter! The first thing you absolutely have to do when organizing is to set some time aside one day to throw away junk and make piles of what you want to keep. Also, create a pile of things you can donate to charity and free up more space in your closet's or counter tops.

Buy a filing cabinet and file everything you want to keep for your records. Mark the tabs very specifically such as: electric bill, car insurance, receipt's, health insurance, etc... Once you have this in place make a conscious effort to file it away. A few other suggestions are plastic storage bins. The clear plastic bins are great because you can see through them, they stack very neat, and you can write on the outside what the contents includes.

One last thing to do is to stand over the trash can as you go through your mail. I know that sounds very elementary, however, if you get your mail and through it on the counter it starts to build up to a leaning tower of mess. When you open up ads and junk mail toss it right away and say good bye to extra "clutter" you do not need. An organized living space is now in reach! A clutter free space is always a healthier place for you and your family.

Are you a success?

Many people define success in different ways. Some define how successful they have been by how much money they make, how many friends they have, what sort of people they know, or by how many people that love them. How you determine what makes you a success is what defines who you are as an individual. These qualities are what will make you special and in what areas you will excel in your life.

You have to start by thinking about the very question, "What does it mean to be successful?"

What is it that you want to get out of your life, while you have a life to get anything out of?

These are tough questions in deciding what is behind the forces driving you to go forward in your life. For some people, they do not ever really know what they really want in life. Many go through life sort of floating thinking that life has handed them whatever they are "supposed" to do. And for some, they settle into believing that they could never possibly attain the dream they have deep in their heart. And then there are those who are driven by things that they really do not understand, and at the end of their life they sit there and think about the choices they make and they have regret.

Here are a few quick steps in helping you think about your life and how you view success.

1. Where do you want to be in 5 years? What are the things you want to be doing in 5 years?

2.How will you get there? What are choices I need to be making today to keep me on the right track?

3.What are areas in my life that I want to achieve success with? (health, relationships, finances, etc.)

4. Do you need to establish more balance in those area's? Are there area's where you are functioning in an out of control state that keeps you from moving ahead?

By asking yourself these questions and being honest with yourself about the outcome you can start to give yourself some goals to work towards in changing your future success as an individual and accomplishing your dreams, goals, and needs.

To talk to a life coach today and receive a free consultation email :

mylittlelifecoach@gmail.com

Where is all the kindness?

It seems sort of juvenile to actually ask someone to be kind, almost as if you were in kindergarten. However, it is very sad but kindergarten is where most people stopped listening. Where is the kindness? We live in a society with so much media surrounding us it is very easy to become desensitized to people's pain or humanity for that matter.

To be kind is to show someone the utmost love and compassion they deserve as a human being. The first step to being kind is to show that you are concerned about them. Take a few steps back out of your own "world" and enter theirs. Be sincere when you speak with them and truly engage in conversation without thinking of how you can chirp in and add your opinion. Understand that your opinion is really ... just an opinion. People need other people, it is the way we are designed. Listening is so important when your trying to be kind to someone else.

Compassion is not naturally given to some people and most people have a mean streak that can actually go very deep. Figure out what inside of you makes you be mean. Hurting people are the one's who hurt people. In order to be kind you have to be healed of your hurt or past disappointments.

Being kind is something that starts to filter into your private life as you choose more wisely with your actions and words. If your kind to someone in public and then behind closed doors you say mean things or verbally attack someone and their character, then your not kind, and your living a lie. Kindness most be a reflection of who you are on the inside not just an act to make others like you.

If you are by nature an unkind person and life's made you mean, than start doing things that are not typically like you as a person. Here are some examples to help you along your start to being a kind person:

1. be more generous
2. if your prone to always give an opinion ... don't
3. listen before you speak
4. stop being so self absorbed and selfish
5. be more compassionate and show love
6. be sincere with your word's
There are many ways one can try to be more kind to those around them. Life will provide the opportunity, it is up to you to take it and help change the world and just maybe someone else's life while your at it.