Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Is someone lying to you?

As you read that title, "is someone lying to you", I am almost positive you have had someone lie to you or is currently lying to you in some way or another. Why do people lie? Where is the honesty and conviction in the hearts of people that make them chose the right thing?
Here are a few reasons people lie:
-To protect themselves from a consequence of their behavior.
-Protection of feelings.
-Wants to postpone making a lifestyle change.
-To hide something they did or did not do.
-To make themselves appear better or more successful, poor self esteem.
-To be in control, or to think they are in control of a situation.
-Want to avoid the embarrassment of being caught in deception.

If you have a gut feeling your being lied to, usually it is right on. If you probe and find your still being deceived and it feels worse than before, you need to confront them on the issue.
You need to have the obvious facts when you confront someone and make sure you are ready for what the confrontation will cause in your relationship. No one wants to be told they are lying, even if they are a liar.
I personally have no pity on people who lie. I have been lied to many times in many different situations. It is a shame, but in the heart of man is a nature that needs to be brought under control. If not, the nature to do ungodly things will always surface. I have had people say, "its just a little white lie." A lie is a lie and if you want your relationships to be grounded in a deep and mutual respect worthy way and have the utmost level of trust within them, then the lying needs to stop. There is no way around this situation.
Lying causes harm, it ruins relationships, it makes your levels of complete transparency and trust just go right out the window.
Here are some resources that can help you when you have relationships with people who have a problem with being totally honest with the people around them. Lies in any relationship are a hard thing to handle. In a marriage , lies can be a huge blow to your intimacy and trust levels.
Top Books on Lying
Top 6 Books About Lying

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