Nourish Yourself

     So often we forget to take care of the one person that honestly matters the most if you plan on ever doing anything amazing with your life. That one person is you! I say that with the utmost honesty and unselfish motives. Some think it may seem too self absorbed to care for your well being, with jobs, families, demands, and obligations who really makes the time for personal renewal?

I have been guilty of it over and over again and many times have to stop and really recheck where things are at and what I am doing. I live a pretty full life; I am a mama to two very amazing little women who light up my life in more ways then they will ever know, I manage our lives and I run my business with all that it entails I find myself exhausted and depleted many days. I am in a constant mentality of rechecking where I am pouring my energies into and what that really means for my future and if I don't keep things in check I find it gets worse.  

    I have learned to look and cherish the things in life during my day that are precious. My days are not perfect and many of them are far from what I would call ideal, but I do know that without constant awareness of what is happening and placing our focus on the wrong things will lead to nothing. 

    There are times and seasons for certain people and places of life. We have bought into a lie that we can really have it all...and if you are living that American Dream when you don't have it all, there must be a problem? Well that is lie! You were created for amazing purpose and life long change however, if you think you can have it all you are in for a very big wake up call. I think we can have a lot and live fully while embracing our, "now" moments. You can have it all at certain moments but never all at once. It just is not the way life works this side of heaven. We only have so much energy and so many resources to draw from. I see a lot of people chasing the next big thing, when they get there though it just means there is another big "thing." We need to make time to really fuel our souls from the inside out. 

    Soul sickness is a plague we do all we can to not really look into because it makes us uncomfortable. It is easier to work a lot and stay busy then to really stop and evaluate. Start to nourish yourself today by doing a few things:

Ask yourself these questions: "Why am I doing what I am?" 

                                                "Is this what makes me feel fulfilled?"

                                                 " Will this be healthy for me and my family?"

                                                 "Is this best choice for right now?"

It really is ok to just breathe ... and sit in the silence to listen to your own heart! Have a wonderful weekend. 

Are you setting up to fail?

Let's check out some of the warning signs or red flags so to speak.

Keep in mind failure is not bad, unless as you learn from it. We all have all failed or made mistakes. Learning from them and getting up is what will make the difference.Ask yourself some of these questions, ask some trusted people in your life what they think as well.

Ask ... Am I this way or do I tend in this direction? 

- You are a major people pleaser. When big choices need to be made, you consult with everyone around you. Come up with a team and getting everyone's opinions about a decision you just need to make but won't because you don't want to offend, is a warning! 

- You stay in places and relationships that are not healthy or working. What would cause you to stay around people or places that you know are not beneficial? Is it low self esteem? Are you willing to let it go so you can be stronger?

- You secretly thrive on drama whether yours or everyone else 's. Gossiping about others whether you are in a professional group or not is wrong. Pretty good chance is they are talking about you too. Leadership needs to function at a higher standard. Adding fuel to the fires of slander and gossip only destroys people and unity. 

- You have no specific plans on how to reach a goal. Dreams are planted in all of us but without a plan you will never reach the goal. Set steps up as mile markers to achieve along the way. 

Massive and Determined Action

I am convinced that the only way to achieve success and pursue your vision is to make consistent choices. Massive and determined action will always help you reach your goals. Sitting back and watching life pass you by will only leave you with regret. It is so important to know your purpose, know that you were created with significance for a reason. Living on purpose changes everything!! In the middle of a hopeless situation it is never what you have that will make a difference, it is what you do with what you have been given that makes the difference. Start today....take determined action steps towards a goal. Even if the consistent actions seem small...keep doing them, one thing will lead to another and positivity always breeds positivity.

Distractions

Distractions come in all forms: crisis, family pain, past hurts, jobs, lost hopes and dreams…..it can ravish your being if you let it.There are millions of things we will never understand this side of heaven. Heart aches we will never be able to make sense of, but God has already given you so much…just the fact that he has arranged for you to be here today…living…breathing…you have an opportunity. Start with that and start thanking God for what he has given you, what he already has provided. Don’t let what you don’t understand; keep you from what God has already given you!! This is my challenge for you today. Something I too am living and trying to do myself. Be well.

Dealing with manipulative people

Manipulative people can surface in many relationships. It is important not to confuse manipulation with "influence" . Someone that is influential creates balance and health and spurs you on to be a better person and reach your goals. Manipulation however is a tactic used to control others through lies, remarks, stories, actions,financial means, etc. It can rear its ugly head in many ways. What do you do and how do you handle this, especially if you have someone close to you has been manipulating people all their life. For some it is a way of life. It is not the correct way of life though. People like this are fearful, and in most cases can be very dramatic with their every day life. Most of the time their ultimate desire is self based and they will not have close personal relationships with others. Ultimately their manipulation backfires. But nonetheless, they can be difficult to deal with and you need to be able to recognize manipulation and stand up to it.
In some cases the manipulative person can and will target who they "can" and can't manipulate. Keep in mind....from an earlier post,.....There is no show without an audience! Same for manipulators....they can not manipulate others, if they are not allowed. If someone feels they can manipulate you, they will keep calling, keep coming back, and continuously showing up in your life for something unhealthy.
Keep a balance in your relationships. Keep manipulators at a distance. It takes two to tango...and it always involves two when their are unhealthy patterns. Have nothing to do with it! So, I know the question is there, what do you do when this person is someone in your family? A spouse, parent, or child. Obviously those relationships you can not walk completely away from. BUT, you need to be very specific, clarify what you will and will not allow and enforce that you have boundaries. This will not be easy, you will have differing opinions, but you need to keep unhealthy people in your life at a distance and make them understand how far they can go.
Maintain your character. Manipulative people lie. Keep this tactic in mind. Remember, manipulative people are driven by fear and insecurity and will do whatever it takes to make themselves feel better. Be true to who you are,  who have you always been, manipulators have a pattern and I guarantee you are not the only one in their lives who sees it.
Set limits with people who try to manipulate you and clarify what it is that the relationship will be. Some people you just can not be close to in all of the ways you want to be because of unhealthy patterns or destructive habits.

 photo:http://www.activatemg.co.nz/middle-management-development/

Good News...The power of happy thoughts

I love getting good news, don't you? I really can not imagine anyone not loving good news. I know for me and my family we have had some tough few weeks. It seemed like we had bad news every day last month. Today I am thrilled and celebrating for two very special people in my life. I have two very dear friends who have had an "out of the blue" surprise and it proves that all things can become beautiful in time, and how God always makes things new.
In our world it seems that stress and gloom can bombard our thinking, it can weigh us down, make us sad, and even depressed.Taking time to think about the good things that have come into your life makes you value what is important and re-evaluate some of your goals. Filing our spirits and minds with good and happy thoughts actually improves the quality of our life. When we constantly focus on the negative or live a life of comparison it creates a breeding ground for unhealthy thoughts to take over.

By changing the way you think you can create a more positive environment for yourself and those around you. I am taking today to rejoice, it is so important to love others enough to be able to rejoice with them when good things come their way. Celebrate all of life's big and small surprises!!

You have purpose! You have purpose! YOU HAVE PURPOSE!

You have a purpose! Did you hear that? I mean, really hear that. Let it sink into the depth of your being for a moment. You were divinely created with a specific purpose in mind. There are times in life where relationships, job loss, relocation, retiring, graduation, going through a divorce, or losing a loved one may leave you feeling confused, alone, or deeply dissatisfied. Then you are ridden with the guilt and pain of the, "WHY's".
Why do I feel this way?
Why I am I going through this?
Why is this happening now?
Why did this happen to me?
Why was I forced to make this painful choice?
Why has life turned out this way?
The list could go on and on as you wrack your mind with unanswered questions about life's uncertainties and unexplainable circumstances.
However, every one feels this way at some point or another. The disappointments and transitions in life are never easy. So I am going to as you, "Are you hungry?" Are you hungry to find your purpose and what you were made to do with your life? 
You may  have asked your self questions that you need answers to, such as:
Why am I not truly happy?
Where do I really fit in?
When did my dreams get pushed to the back burner?
Is this what God really wants my life to look like?
Why do I feel like a failure?
Does my existence matter?
If you have found yourself asking these questions...THERE IS HOPE. God will show you what your purpose is and your heart will be filled with joy as you see all that he has in store for you.
God wants you to be able to say, "I am healthy! I am in my element. This job is what I was made to do. What an amazing thing that I get paid to do this, because I am so fulfilled. I am enjoying my family. I was born for this.I wake up and know I have purpose!"

I challenge you to pursue your purpose with passion!
Find out what you were made to accomplish and how you were designed to leave a lasting legacy on the people in your life.
"In all of our hearts lies a longing for a Sacred Romance...this heart yearning set within us, the longing for transcendence; the desire to be a part of something larger than ourselves...The deepest part of our heart longs to be bound together in some heroic purpose with others of like mind and spirit." Curtis & Eldridge

New Years Resolution or Revolution

Most people I know at one time or another celebrated New Year's with a new years resolution or two. Goals many have to take on the new year can consist of weight loss, working less, spending more time with family, eating healthier, or finishing a project. Every single person has their own list of personal achievements and goals they have for a new and coming year. I think it is great to have goals and always work to improve who you are as an individual. However, I have also seen how not long into a new year after the staggering effect of every day life sets in...how many people forget their resolutions. Life takes over, work is more demanding, family needs overwhelm, bills need to be paid, time seems to pass too quickly and before you know it the goals you had for the year are somehow pushed to the back burner until a less hectic time.

I want to encourage you this year to  not strive for the resolution you have planned for but live for the revolution in your life. Make permanent changes this year. Changes that will last a lifetime even into eternity. Healthy changes made that can start on the inside and work outward will not only change your life, it can change lives around you. 

Life Coaching

photo credit:
kunistogo.com

One Crazy December Day!

Today was anything but healthy for me until about five minutes ago when I decided to sit and write for awhile. Let me give you the run down of my very strange day, talk about stress levels going through the roof. I woke up to a sick husband who was running late for a work meeting, alarms were blaring and doors were being slammed as he quickly was looking for all he needed for the day, meanwhile, waking our daughter way too early for me on a Saturday morning. So my feet had to hit the floor full speed as well all before even really waking up. I then decide I am going to quickly go to the bank and make a deposit, as I place my slip and money into the drawer, the door tilts back into the teller and he says, "It is not here? Is the deposit laying on the ground?" I quickly get out of my car in the drive thru and look frantically around and see nothing. Nothing...no money....no deposit slip. So the men working in the bank come out and tear the thing apart and find that my stuff had blown deep inside the machine. Now, what in the world are the chances of this actually happening?

So after about a ten minute ordeal I go to my storage unit and decide to retrieve all my Christmas decorations, meanwhile it is 30 degrees and the wind is whipping around like crazy. As i go to get my Christmas tree I move a huge wardrobe box which has about 200 pieces of baby clothes I had been storing. The entire box of baby clothes busts open and out blows hundreds of mini articles of clothing all over the parking lot. Now the entire time my two year old is crying in the car because she can hear all this noise and keeps asking me, "mommy what happened?"

It took me about twenty minutes to get everything cleaned up and get on my way. As I travel to the post office where I want to drop off a few of my Christmas cards, I drive through the loop to drop off my cards and I see a man coming in the "exit" side of the loop. He then proceeds to quickly jump out of his car and drop off his letters and jump back in and try and reverse, because there is a line forming now and he can clearly see he had gone the wrong way. I sit there and watch this man try to reverse out of a circular loop as he bangs his tires off the curb about ten times as he moves forward and tries to straighten his wheels and then go back again. 

I arrive home and proceed to unload all my belongings and Christmas decor and an 80 year old gentleman next door decides that he is going to yell out to me, "woooo-weeee nice legs, i love those legs!" NOW about this time I really am starting to get irritated and wonder what in the world is going on and could there be anything else that possibly could be more weird today. 

And then as my adorable and sweet  daughter who is potty training comes up to hug me because she knew something was terribly wrong, smelled of....you guessed it....poop! Yes....poop....not exactly what I needed at that moment, to be honest I really do not even know after two years of parenting  if poop really is ever a delightful moment, in most cases it makes me want to throw up at the very sight of it.

The day is still unfolding, I just found out one of my best friends was in a car accident (she is ok) , my daughter just found a bottle of bubble bath and is spilling it everywhere, my husband is still not home and has yet to hear of this bizarre day. I just can not believe how funny life can seem. These are the kinds of days that drive us to tears and that you can laugh about later. I am hoping that later comes very soon today.

Life at times can seem very stressful, sad, crazy, or even plain irritating...but it is in those times, we have to keep in mind that nothing is ever permanent and each and every day is new. I am so thankful for new, new days, and new beginnings in every stage of life. Thankful I had a day to be alive even to experience a weird day with all kinds of personal frustrations. Here is to one happy month of celebrating what is truly important in all of our lives. 

Starting Over...not an end, a new beginning!

Change is the one thing in life that is actually constantly happening. Sometimes a change is exactly what life calls for and sometimes it's what life gives you in a circumstance. How you handle the change is really up to you and you alone. Transitions come with a move in location, change in job status, death of a family member, or divorce; just to name a few. 

Keep in mind that starting over does not mean that life is over. Life can actually begin again or continue on flourishing right where you plant yourself. A new location means just that very thing, it is new, it is fresh and there are many opportunities for you. The hardest part about a change is that it may not always be a welcome change, but change is what has happened and the ultimate way of making the most of it is with your decisions on a daily basis.

Get involved with in your new area. Involvement provides a social and emotional outlet for you to network yourself and start to foster new relationships. You are an individual designed specifically and special, what you want to get involved in is totally up to you. Make sure that you do not put this off for more than a few months. It is ok to have time to think and settle in, however, get yourself out there in the community when you can.


If you do not have a friend or family member to call and vent, cry, or talk with then begin a journal. A journal may not be something you even want to do at a time of transition but journaling also provides a way for your thoughts to escape on paper. Journaling is a wonderful way to see progress and record your own personal thoughts, emotions, or feelings.

Continue to be yourself. If you do not even know who you are or how you got to this point than take the time to figure that out. If there are things that need to change in you to help make this move a better situation than start to really evaluate your life, attitudes, and goals.

Life is Messy, Life is Hard...are you just going to lay there and take it?

I recently read an amazing story about a farmer who owned an old mule. This mule had been a faithful friend and had helped this man for many years around his property, one day the old mule wandered off and fell into an old abandon well. The farmer later discovered the mule had fallen into this well, which had been about 50 feet deep, he called and waited for over an hour and heard nothing. Discouraged and unsure of what to do the farmer had come to the conclusion that his trusted friend had passed away. There was no way the farmer could get the mule out of a well so utterly deep, so he decided to let it rest there and bury him right where he was. He called a few of his friends that could help him shovel all the dirt it would take to fill a well so deep. As massive amounts of dirt landed on this mule it actually woke him up. The mule had passed out and was laying flat on his back, the hard hit from the dirt falling was so painful he was doing everything he could to literally not become buried alive! That mule began the greatest and most painful struggle of his life, but with each new shovel of dirt he began to use it as  a step. Pile after pile, and after over an hour of shoveling the farmers above began to see the top of the mules head. That mule had used the dirt meant to bury him as an opportunity to raise him up out of that pit.

What an unbelievable example of what can be done with the "dirt" that comes against you in life. Life is messy! Life is hard, and there are times of gut wrenching pain...are you going to just lay there and take it? Or are you going to use that dirt as leverage to get you up and out of the pit that you have fallen in. It does not matter if you have had circumstances come against you that you were not even in control of or not. You have the choice to make to rise above it and out of it or lay there and give up. Choose to rise up and out of the situation. 

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The captain of your soul

Have you ever heard the saying, "I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul" ? I recently heard someone quote this and it could not be any more significant as you think about how powerful of a connection your mind has on the outcome of your life. Your mind responds to not only what you say, but what you look at, dwell on, and put into it.
If you are constantly telling yourself how badly you have messed up and how disappointing life has become, or feeling as if you will never rise above your situation...than you will never provide yourself with a deep and lasting hope. You must be positive. I am not saying, always walk around with a smile and pretend, but pull whatever you have left inside of you and take the negativity and get busy.
What do I mean by get busy? I mean, make some changes, do things a little bit different one day in an area of your life. It does not have to be a huge and monumental change but it can be the slightest change in your thinking or routine in which you can pivot yourself into greatness.
Greatness comes through small and consistent patterns that depict the way you live your life.
Think about the area's in your life that you tend to get frustrated with and write them down.
Next to those area's, jot down one or two things that you would like to see change. Make it your ambition to follow through and complete just one of those to start. Once you have begun tackling the problem area's one baby step at a time you will have more motivation to handle the bigger stuff.

Dig your heels in deep.

Just when you want to give up, throw in the towel, and be done with it already...RESIST! This is the very time you need to dig down deep with heels, get a new attitude on life, and embrace the change that is coming. Life is about to change when you feel as if you can not take another minute, hour, or day living with the reality of your life. Day in and day out may feel as if your living an episode of "Groundhog Day," every day same as the one before...but let me assure you that every day is in fact your chance to put on a new attitude in the face of adversity.
Living in an imperfect world with imperfect people is a recipe for some incredibly hard and heart breaking moments. Look forward to the future and the positive outcomes that are on the way. You are the one in charge of your life, what you do with it, who you marry, what friendships you want to cultivate, and how you find your purpose is totally up to you, and you alone! Keep your eyes on the future in store for you, your family, and know that the life you were meant to live has a meaning and purpose that is eternal and designed especially for you.

Overestimating what you have inhibits change!

"Change is hard because people overestimate the value of what they have—and underestimate the value of what they may gain by giving that up."-JB

Some people think they actually have more than they really do. It is called overestimation. Clinging to something that really has no value or worth in the long run and refusing to let it go...only hurts people. There are other things to gain by letting go. There have been times and will be in the future that I too have had to let go of "good" things in my life. It does not mean that I will never have good things again. I have experienced many times through the pain of giving something good up that I have received something even better.

Most people can not let go, they have a real hard time understanding that letting go does not mean that you have given up, not cared or loved enough; it just means...that you have come to a place where you understand you do not need to be controlled by it anymore and life has to go on. 

Life will go on. New people, places, and things will come in and out of your life...it is just the way life is. Resisting changes that are in fact good for you, only keeps a person from being and doing all they were meant to in this life. Is this hard? Yes it is! Will there be pain? Of course there will be pain. Will it be worth it? Absolutely! 

Let whatever is on your mind now after reading this be the one thing you work on letting go.