Today I let go of the rope just a little bit and I know it seems like such a little thing in the whole scheme of someone's life, but I can not help but reflect on mothering just a little bit. I put my little one on the bus for the for the first time today. This is her first grade year and after driving her to and from last year to school I hesitantly made the choice to allow her to ride the "big" bus.
I placed her little hand in mine and walked her across the road and up on to the big bus where she was beyond excited to take her seat and wave good bye.
A part of my heart just broke as I looked up to see her in the window and she was so little I could not even see her head in sight. I jumped in my car and followed that sweet baby of mine all the way to school, just praying over her heart, her life, and her choices.
This thing called motherhood, nothing can prepare you for it. It comes suddenly to some and unplanned as it may be or maybe for some years of expectancy to live this role took over you at a young age and never left, it still takes over you like a massive wave. And I do mean that. Motherhood is full of everything and every possible emotion you could feel. Nothing prepares you fully, and not enough of us really talk about how hard it can be.
I joked with my mom today, and asked her why she could not give me a warning of how incredibly tough and mind wracking a mothers brain could be. I will never own my own mind again. I forever love and think about the well being of two amazing little women now that God gave to me.
I hope I can be the best mom to them, I strive to show them how to live, to be strong, to be godly, and make a difference in their generation.
This was my view today for 20 minutes as I followed that bus down winding roads and past many other moms and dads waving good bye to their own. These children...given for a just a time to invest in, to love to pieces, and to show how to love and live on their own.
May each of us find the time to invest in the life of a child, whether it be our own or a child of your heart who God puts into your life. They are the future, we get to hold them for just a little while but their hearts forever.
I was that mom today that followed the bus... I watched her little hand let go of mine and take a seat and I watched her little legs carry her into a school as I sat across the street and prayed her through. May all of our kids have the courage to be strong, to stand up for what they believe, to stand for freedom and things that are true and right, and be the men and women... God made them to be to make the best impact on everyone around them in their generation.
Happy First Day of School....