Friday, April 30, 2010

Just a "Mom" ?

I have talked with so many women young and old who have or are currently raising a family. The one question that literally plagues our culture and creates such an enormous amount of guilt and anxiety for some women is this, "Do you work, or are you 'just' a mom?" What in the world has happened to us? Being a mother is the hardest, most sacrificial job on the planet. If any one would ever argue that fact....Lord have mercy on their soul! God has established the family unit. Many women work outside and inside their homes, and whatever they chose to do, that is their God given right, but rest assured....neither is greater than the other or should be devalued! Women juggle many hats these days and yes our culture has created a gigantic amount of pressure that drives women all over the place in thousands of different directions. But in light of Mother's Day right around the corner...I really feel this needs to be stated here. This generation of young girls are being surrounded by pressure that is too great for them to handle. Who puts this pressure on these girls? WE do! The parents, teachers, and media constantly filling the heads with the notion that you will not be successful unless you have achieved perfection, are given a full scholarship to Princeton, chosen for the lead in the school play, have been awarded the all american athlete award, and the list goes on and on and on. Here I am somewhere in the middle of this epidemic, not a baby-boomer and yet a bit past my teenage years (o.k. a little more than a bit....) but seriously, I am right smack in the middle of what i fear to be the most degrading and undermining cultures we have ever seen...,women need to start embracing who they are...and that is it, they are women!

We are not in competition with men, although many think they are and in a professional still are in many cases paid more, treated with more respect, and given better jobs and so forth.However, does this mean that we forget about our feminine sides and abandon all we were created to be, not just for ourselves ...but for the future of America and our kids? NO STINKEN WAY...ladies!
Girls need to see moms embracing the fact that they are a mom, and if they are working in or outside the home...know that they are seriously contributing to society and to their families in ways no one else can. We are all guilty of this ridiculous and women alike.
"Do you work....or are you 'just" a mom?" Here is something I want to share that was recently passed along...enjoy the humor. And on this mother's day...really honor your mother!


A woman, renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk ' office, 
Was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation.

She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.  

'What I mean is, ' explained the recorder,   
'do you have a job or are you just a ...?'

'Of course I have a job,' snapped the woman.

'I'm a Mom.' 

'We don't list 'Mom' as an occupation,
'housewife' covers it,' 
Said the recorder emphatically. 

I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself
In the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall.   
The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, 
Efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like,
'Official Interrogator' or 'Town Registrar.'

'What is your occupation?' she probed. 

What made me say it?  I do not know.  

The words simply popped out.   
'I'm a Research Associate in the field of
Child Development and Human Relations.'
The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair and 
Looked up as though she had not heard right.  

I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words.. 
Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written,
In bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.
'Might I ask,' said the clerk with new interest,
'just what you do in your field?'
Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, 
I heard myself reply,
'I have a continuing program of research,
(what mother doesn't)
In the laboratory and in the field,
(normally I would have said indoors and out).  
I'm working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family)
And already have four credits (all daughters).
Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities,
(any mother care to disagree?)
And I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it).  
But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers
And the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money.' 

There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she 
Completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.

As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career,
I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3. 
Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model,
(a 6 month old baby) in the child development program,
Testing out a new vocal pattern.  

I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy!
And I had gone on the official records as someone more
Distinguished and indispensable to mankind than 'just another Mom.'  

What a glorious career!   
Especially when there's a title on the door. 

Does this make grandmothers 
'Senior Research  Associates in the field of Child Development and Human Relations' 
great grandmothers 
Executive Senior Research Associates?'   
I think so!!!  

I also think it makes 
Associate Research Assistants. 

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